Suspended for Playing Pretend?! Really?! (A response to Kermit Elementary School)

I have made no secret of my disdain for PC culture.  It is getting absolutely out of control.  And the psycho-parents haven’t helped.  You got dodgeball banned, or if it exists, they got rid of the rubber balls.  There was that story about a six year old boy who was almost put on the sex offender list for playing “doctor” with a five year old girl.  There are so many stories about how pathetically scared and worthless people in this country are, and now I got another to add to the pile.  This one actually does annoy me, because it tells me that this country is doing everything it can to take away children’s childhood.  Let’s get down to it.

So, there is this kid in west Texas whose dad took him to see the latest Hobbit movie.  He shouldn’t have bothered, because the movie is melodramatic in a way that the Lord of the Rings films never were (not to mention the whole thing with Smaug, which was retarded).  But whatever.  So, the kid loves the movie, and he has a ring that looks like the One Ring, and he tells his friend that the ring can make the friend disappear.  Then, the kid got suspended.  Not even kidding.  Why?  Because, according to the principal, he was making “terroristic threats.”

Are you kidding me?  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Yes, he was making “terroristic threats” because he was playing pretend with his friend, he gets suspended.  Here’s a great quote that should really put it all into perspective for you how stupid this is.

Any kind of threat, whether it be magical or pretend, is considered a terrorist threat, and therefore the boy had to be suspended.

That was from the Principal of Kermit Elementary, and – are you fucking kidding me?!  You admit that it was pretend!  It wasn’t a real threat!  I was a kid playing pretend with his friend.  How can you be that stupid?!  The father’s response to this was priceless.

I assure you that my son lacks the magical powers to threaten his friend’s existence.  If he did, I’m sure he would bring him back.

Way to put all of this stupidity in its place.  I mean, come on!  But this kid seems to have a history of suspension.  Man, he must be a problem kid!  What did he do?!  Well, in one instance – he called a black kid black.  The other time, he brought a book to school that had a drawing of a pregnant woman.  Not porn or anything like that.  Just a drawing of a woman that happened to be pregnant.

I don’t honestly know how this country can get any dumber.  For real, I don’t.  I mean, this is so stupid!  I’m sure that the kid didn’t mean anything racist when he referred to a black kid as black.  He didn’t call the kid any racial epithets.  Just stated that the kid was black.  And that was worth suspending him over?!  Then – are you all afraid of pregnant women?!  Do you just have an aversion to talking about them?!  Now, he’s been suspended for playing pretend.  Un-fucking-real.  Oh, and here’s something to note – the family of this kid moved into this area six months ago.  In six months, he has been suspended three times – for nothing!  For absolutely nothing!

I continually tell people that America is turning into a police state.  Hell, we’re already there.  The evidence is undeniable.  It’s a weird police state where everyone is guilty, all the time.  You want to express your imagination with your friends?  Guilty!  You want to describe a kid to another kid?  Guilty!  You want to have a book that you like at school?  Guilty!  I remember when I was in school.  We used to beat the shit out of each other in dodgeball.  I was always tall, so I was a clear target, but when I did hit someone, they were feeling it the rest of the day.

Oh, this brings me to another story.  There was a woman who was charged with child neglect.  Why?  Because she let her kid walk home from school.  What the fuck is wrong with this country?!  I walked home from the bus, almost a mile from my stop to where I lived, every single day since I was in middle school.  For real, I could have gotten trampled by a moose, eaten by a black bear or kidnapped by some creepy pedophile, every single weekday for years.  And that’s fine!

We have this scary thing happening in this country where everyone is constantly worried about letting the children be who they are, or developing normally.  Oh no, my kid played ‘doctor’ with another kid!  Does that mean that they are developing as a young person in a way that I will have to actually be a parent and talk to them about?!  I don’t want that!  Oh no, a kid played pretend with his friend and said something mildly threatening that anyone with more than ten brain cells would recognize isn’t serious.  We’d better clamp down on that behavior!

I have a friend who used to be a substitute teacher.  She told me about how kids at the middle school I went to are now forced to sit in their seats at lunch, never get up, never raise their voice, and stay in that place until lunch ends.  If they break the rules, they are immediately in trouble.  That idea scares the hell out of me.  We are forcing children to behave like machines, at the age when they are forming who they are.  I can’t be the only one who sees how bad that could get.  For real, who sees that too?  Anyone?

Let me know down in the comments section.  You know, I don’t remember thinking that 1984 was supposed to be a guide or the future.  I guess schools didn’t get the memo.

Until next time, a quote,

“Stupid is as stupid does.”  -Forrest Gump

Peace out,



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