Lucien’s First Take: Fantastic Four (Reboot) Teaser Trailer

Another year, another bunch of Marvel movies being released.  I swear, they are really overplaying their hand with how many movies they are putting out.  But I can’t blame Disney, for this one.  After all, Twentieth Century Fox owns the rights to the Fantastic Four.  I think we all remember those OTHER movies, don’t we?

Yes, the Fantastic Four films were giant pieces of shit.  Both of them.  With the guy who played Reed Richards being a complete dork, Jessica Alba and her inability to act (but look really hot in a movie), and let’s not even talk about The Thing and how ridiculous it looked.  Yes-indeed, those films were probably the greatest amalgamation of over-the-top cartoon-y that they were only made for kids who hadn’t reached puberty yet.  So their appeal died just that fast.  When I heard that a new bunch of films with this name were coming out, my first thought was – this is going to suck.  It didn’t help that I read somewhere that Victor Doom was going to be some Internet troll, instead of the wealthy genius that his source material was.  So yeah, my expectations were not high for this movie.  Then the trailer comes out.

Maybe it’s just my lack of expectations, following the release of the previous films, but this looks…boring. I am bored by this trailer.  It doesn’t look as laughably stupid as Ant-Man, but it doesn’t look very interesting.  You got some scientists.  Okay.  You got some science-y stuff happening.  Okay.  You got some kind of experiment.  Okay.  You see little hints at people’s powers.  Alright.  And…that’s it?

I mean, if you are going to show off the Fantastic Four, it might help to actually do that.  I guess it’s because it was a teaser trailer, but I would think that that is when you want to shove in the most fan service.  Because without it, this movie looked about as interesting as lukewarm apple pie.  I swear, I’ve seen ads for baseboard heaters that kept my attention better than that.  Granted, it was because the trailer was in Japanese and had Hulk Hogan singing a stupid song (because he clearly needed the money, otherwise he wouldn’t have been near that), but still.

So my thoughts are – this movie looks…average.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  It brings back an old debate.  Which is worse – a film that is terrible, or a movie that is so boring that it doesn’t even get that?  You all be the judge.  Let me know what you think in the comments section down below.

Oh, and before I forget – everyone has gotten butthurt because The Human Torch is now being played by a black guy.  To which I respond – you all are fucking idiots, shut the fuck up.  This movie doesn’t look like it’s going to be good anyway.  Why does this guy affect that?

Initial Verdict
5 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

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