Box Hair Braids, Feminist Outrage, and Cultural Appropriation

This is something that I have long-since avoided talking about.  In the world of insane Twitter and Tumblr Puritan Feminism, this felt like the most ridiculous thing ever to be.  So much of this is so stupid.  To give you a better idea of where I’m about to go, Tumblr has this really stupid thing that they believe in called “cultural appropriation.”  What it boils down to, in a nutshell, is when one culture (specifically America) takes an element from another culture and incorporates it into their culture.  Oh!  The horror!  What nightmares that is!  Because it’s not like different cultures meeting and learning from one-another is part of every nation’s history and is why we have come as far as we have, right?  Don’t give too many facts to the Puritan Feminists.  That gets icky.  But I digress.  Now we have a story that gives us a nice inroad to talk about how dumb this is.

It starts with a 12 year old girl (linked here).  The girl decided to get her hair braided.  It was done in a style called “box braids,” which are pretty much semi-trippy dreads.  The girl was quite pleased with herself and her new look, so she decided to post a picture of the braids on social media.  As is want to happen, almost-immediately, she started taking shit.  From whom, you may ask?  Why, the Puritan Feminists, of course!

I swear, these people are becoming so ridiculous that I can’t even find words for it.  It’s like they want to be seen as a joke by the rest of society.  One woman, named Jamilah Lemieux, went so far as to call the braids, “psychological torture.”  Are you kidding me?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  This selfie that a 12 year old girl posted of her with her new hair is causing you actual pain?!  This is nuts.  This is 18 different kinds of nuts.  You know what I’m going to do.  I’m going to respond to this insanity in the most mature way possible.

Blonde Kid with Box BraidsLook at it!  Let it soak into your subconscious!  Let those box braids torment you as you try and sleep tonight!  Muahahahahaha!

Seriously, can we all please stop the bullshit?!  This is beyond stupid.  The stupidity on display here has transcended stupidity to reach a new level.  A level that we don’t often see.  That poor kid, Mallory Merk, is getting harassed because of her hair.  This kid does NOT deserve this kind of treatment!  What is wrong with you lot?!  You all must be completely ignorant of culture.  So, I’m going to school you fools.  A schooling that will be outside your “cultural studies” class or you “gender studies” class, which you all clearly have never gotten.

What you call “cultural appropriation” is a concept that has been around for ages.  It’s called the Melting Pot.  It is when multiple cultures combine to form a new one.  But it doesn’t have to go that far.  Sometimes it can just be a culture seeing a new perspective and growing because of it.  I know, that all sounds very vague.  Let’s get into some specifics.

Something you feminists should like.  When American soldiers came home from the front in Europe after World War II, they brought back home with them a lot of the culture they observed.  See, at that point in time, America was prudish and totally terrified of sex.  Like you!  But the GIs who came home had been exposed to European culture.  More specifically – French culture.  Even back then, French ladies were not particularly abashed.  They were very open about their sexuality, and the GIs took notice.  This is something they brought home, and it was part of the beginnings of the sexual revolution that second-wave feminists inspired, and that third-wave feminists are working so hard to undo.  Ain’t irony a bitch?  We “appropriated” European culture and it helped our own culture grow out of our prudishness.  And now you lot are trying to force us back, by making sex a scary thing that women should fear, because you have painted my gender as nothing but horrible pigs.  There’s a line that I think sums up your position on sexuality, but I’ll save it for the end.

Next up, let’s look at Japan.  Japan has been rather fascinating in how it yin-yanged between loving and hating (and then loving again) Western culture.  Currently, they have a fascination with American culture, and it goes both ways.  As anime culture has made its way to America, along with kawaii culture, there is a noticeable change in the attitudes of my generation.  Indeed, thanks to the Internet, we are able to be exposed to new ideas and new ways of life all the time.  It’s the reason why my generation is among the most open and accepting people there are.  For all the bluster that people like Jamilah like to throw around the truth it has never been better for the disparate elements of our culture.  We have hubs, we have forums, we have ways of coming together.

Which leads me back to this – why are people like Jamilah so eager to tear us apart?  Why do they want a very strict division of cultures and ideas?  Why do they not want people to grow and learn?  Because her and her ilk are bullying a 12 year old girl because of her fucking hair!  What is wrong with you people?!  Let the kid fucking be!  For real, why do you sit there all day and find things to be mad about.  How can you lead a happy life when you claim that a girl and her braids gives you “psychological torture?”  I can’t help but think that you lot are a miserable one, and that all of this is just a sign of how awful your lives must be.

And that leads me to the worst part about this – she apologized!  The kid apologized for her braids, because apparently they weren’t bullying her.  No, they were trying to “educate her.”  Unreal.  Un-fucking-real.  Kid, you had nothing to apologize for.  Nothing at all.  People like Jamilah Lemieux are sad little nobodies who want to make their butthurt problems into everyone else’s problems.  Don’t let them!  Don’t give them a single bit of room on this!

Because if this bullshit goes on for any longer, then I might not be able to see cute little Japanese girls front death metal bands, and that would just be tragic.

Cultural appropriate that, bitches!  And kid, your hair looked good.

Until next time, a quote,

“Your belief that there is an actual sexual human being beneath all of Dr. Reed’s deep-seated neuroses is touching, but I doubt it.”  -Dr. Ira Caine, Evolution

Peace out,

Maverick

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