SIONR: Kingdom Hearts III, Marvel and Star Wars? FML…

Dammit, it’s like Square Enix is deliberately trying to piss me off.  For real, for every good thing they do lately, they do a ton of bad ones.  And now, they have gone and done something really, really stupid.  Why?  For the reason that Disney does what it does – for the bottom line.  After all, Marvel and Star Wars are popular, right?  This will make us a lot of money, right?  Of course it will.  The quality of the game?  Well, that’s just a nice convenience.  Don’t believe me?  Well, let me give you a little history lesson.

In Kingdom Hearts II, there was a level that was dedicated to the Pirates of the Caribbean films.  For anyone who doesn’t know, that level SUCKED!  It was the absolute worst.  Not only did the realistic look of the characters just stand out in the worst way, but the people they got to do the voice roles were terrible.  It was the worst level in the entire game, and should have been a lesson to Square Enix not to go that route.

But no, I guess it wasn’t.  Why?  Well, because they have decided to look into doing Marvel and Star Wars levels in Kingdom Hearts III.  God-dammit!  Did these people learn nothing?!  I swear, Square Enix seems to want to cash in as much as Disney.  The rushed pace of KHIII’s development makes it feel like this game is going to be a cash grab.  And this is the first major announcement about KHIII I’ve heard!  For real, no discussion about any new Final Fantasy characters.  No worlds that aren’t ones that aren’t animated.  This.  This is their best foot forward.

I’m sure, though, that Disney is not blameless in this.  After all, Square Enix is using their stuff, so they have to pay them money to do so.  And they surely have some control over the content.  So naturally, they are going to try and promote what’s popular.  Man, it feels like both Disney and Square Enix are doing a checklist.  It’s like they have a room full of people going –

Well, what is popular  with kids today?  What will make our game sell a lot of copies?  What’s that?  Marvel and Star Wars?  Yeah, that sounds good.  Oh, and how about this Frozen thing?  Maybe we could make another musical level so we can integrate ‘Let It Go!’  That went over well in the last game, right?

All of this feels like one big marketing scheme, and this bugs me.  With all the cool worlds of Disney animated films that we haven’t visited, or the Pixar worlds, which would lend themselves much better to the Kingdom Hearts universe, the first thing you all announce is – we’ve got Marvel and Star Wars!  Aren’t you excited?!

Learning from history seemed to be asking too much.  After all, given all the stupid decisions that Square Enix has made lately, like making Rise of the Tomb Raider XBone exclusive, they gotta make sure that this game can market.  Never mind that it isn’t kids who are dying for this game.  It is people who have been with the franchise since the beginning.  I have, and I’m kicking 30 in the ass.

I wanted to hear about this game.  I wanted to hear about all the Disney and Pixar worlds that I have always wanted to see in the franchise, but I have said, more than once – NO Marvel and NO Star Wars!  Realistic characters just don’t work.  Hell, you could integrate Studio Ghibli worlds into the game better.  It worked for Ni No Kuni.

There are disturbing signs that this game is going to be a cash-grab.  We’ve had ENOUGH of that!  We’ve been getting nothing but that since Final Fantasy XIII!  But I guess we were asking too much.  Now we get to have this waiting for us.  I want to like the next Kingdom Hearts game.  I really do.  But this is not how to do it.  Guess we’ll see what happens next.

Until next time, a quote,

“I like to expect the worst.  Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised.”  -Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect 2

Peace out,

Maverick

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