Lucien’s First Take: Jurassic World

I’m gonna level with you about something – Jurassic Park was the first movie I saw in theaters.  I fucking love dinosaurs.  I loved that movie.  The first sequel was…bad.  It was a bad movie.  It wasn’t totally actively terrible.  Julianne Moore was trying to do a good performance.  But she had nothing good to work with.  And Ian Malcolm being in the film bugged the shit out of me or a number of reasons.  I’m about to go all book worm on you.  In the first book, Malcolm died.  When asked where Malcolm was, Muldoon just shook his head.  He was clearly dead.  In the second book (which also existed for no reason), he is suddenly alive again!  How the fuck does that work?!  They don’t even address it!  It annoyed me then and it annoys me now.  That was part of the reason that I didn’t like the second film.  The third film comes out, and I felt so sorry for everyone involved.  Sam Neil especially.  He’s a talented actor who has gotten a lot of shit roles.  Not to mention – they took away the awesome factor of the T-Rex!  It’s now a little bitch in this movie.  What the hell?!

Yeah, this franchise has had its fair share of issues.  When I heard about another sequel in the works, I was done.  Especially since the author of the series has sadly passed away a few years back.  To me, this felt like it was dishonoring his creation.  I heard the title, Jurassic World, and that didn’t help.  But my friends kept telling me how cool it was going to be, so I said, “alright, I’ll give it a chance.  If the trailer for the film wows me, I’ll go see it with you.”  It all comes down to the first trailer.  It debuts, and here it is –

Ugh.  Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like what I see in this movie.  For one – why do they have these brother characters?  They have no point, and clearly are in this just for the fear factor with the kids in danger.  That’s…bullshit.  Weapons-grade bullshit.  Next – this movie looks beyond cliche.  You have some company (they never have an Ingen logo on anything, so you don’t know if this is them or not.  It might be that company who was trying to steal the DNA they had) trying to make super-hybrid dinosaurs, and one of them gets out.  Now, you have some hunter guy, played by the dude who was Starlord in Guardians of the Galaxy trying to kill the creature.  In other words, it’s a monster movie.

Now, that isn’t to say that there aren’t things about the trailer that looked good.  A lot like Tron: Legacy, this movie looks to have elements that could be cool, that never really go anywhere.  For example, there is a scene where the hunter is on a bike.  You see raptors being released from a facility, and they don’t appear to be hunting him.  They actually are keeping pace.  That’s cool!  Like they have found a way to control the minds of raptors.  That is a neat thing!  Dinosaur mind control could open up so many interesting ideas about the idea of enslaving these creatures and what is right and wrong.  Even the idea of a hybrid dinosaur isn’t THAT terrible.  But it’s actively clear that this film is going to just devolve into a monster movie.  And that is such wasted potential!  This movie could be awesome!  Why does it have to go all cliche?!

Do I think it will be a terrible movie?  No.  I just don’t see anything here that is going to interest me enough to see it in theaters.  I have Netflix for it, once it comes out on video.  Take that for what you will.

Initial Verdict
6 out of 10

Peace out,



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