Okay, what’s an evolutionist? Someone who believes in evolution? That’s not even a real term. Naturally, this is another set of questions designed to make atheists like me look dumb. And I’m about to make the Discovery Institute look dumb by answering them. Let’s do it.
1. Why are the planets round?
You didn’t pay much attention in physics when you learned about gravity, did you? By the way, what does that have to do with evolution? Really dying to hear your thoughts.
2. Go to a zoo and tell me – why doesn’t a chimpanzee give birth to a man?
So, you’re totally retarded, right? Like, I could explain to you why a chimp and a squirrel monkey can’t breed, right? They are both species in their same family, but they are different animals. It’s the same concept here, you fucking retard. I’m so tempted to think that this is a troll, but let’s keep going. How is this concept of a common ancestor so alien to you? How do you not get it? How it is impossible for you to understand? I really need to know, because this is getting ridiculous.
3. Have you have seen a mountain form?
Have you? Do you not understand that mountains forming and other geological events take millions of years? Plate tectonics don’t just happen in a day. By the by, where in the Bible does it talk about a mountain forming, outside of the creation story? For real, where else, aside from saying that Gawd made the world, does it talk about a mountain forming? Nowhere, you idiot.
4. Why doesn’t new life show up in a jar of peanut butter
I…don’t even fucking get it. I seriously do not understand this question. Continuing.
5. If the big bang started as a singularity, who held up the singularity?
What? Seriously, what the fuck are you talking about? Do you think that this is Greek mythology, and Atlas is just holding up the world or the universe or something? Is that the levels of stupid that I’m dealing with? I really need to know, because this is getting absurd. There was nobody “holding up” the “singularity.” This is primary school knowledge. Did you not read a book?
6. A painting had a painter, therefore, the universe had a maker
That’s not even a question. And it’s dumb.
8. How can you explain gravity?
SO not going to get into physics with you. Here’s a link to a site that explains gravity, you fucking retard.
9. If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
I’ve hard this stupiditarded question so much that it drives me nuts. I could explain how speciation is not something that just gets rid of ancestors. We evolved on a different tree from modern apes. It was all chance and human genes being strong enough to produce offspring that could survive. So yeah, done with this question.
10. If the world is millions of years old, why is it only 2008?
Really thinking that this person is a troll. Really, really thinking it. I mean, what a stupid question. Perhaps you don’t know how the dating system works. See, it used to be that it was 2008 AD. That stood for, After Death. It was given that name in reference to the death of your lord and savior. Now it’s something new. Oh, and by the way, idiot, it’s not millions of years old. The Earth is billions of years old.
11. If I throw dirt up in the air, what are the odds that it will come down in the form of a living man?
I see what you did there, Christard! A Genesis pun! Cause Gawd made man out of dirt, right? Oh, and by the way, how did God do it? It’s scientifically impossible to make a person out of dirt, so I guess that he must have used magic to get it done. I thought that you people were against magic?
12. Can you see electricity?
Uh, yeah, actually. Look up “Tesla Coil” on Google and it’ll show you some pretty cool images of electricity. There’s also lightning, but whatever. You all are dumb enough already.
13. Science changes, the book of Genesis is perfect.
Really?! You actually believe that? So, the story about man being made out of dirt and woman being made from a man’s rib? That’s perfect? The story of a talking snake and a magic tree with magic fruit, that’s perfect to you? It’s the ultimate hubris of religion that science is willing to admit that it doesn’t have all the answers and wants to learn, while religion says that it does have all the answers while yelling at everyone to shut up. That’s faith, for ya.
14. The holy bible is the truth, because the bible says it’s the truth.
Yeah, this is mot likely a troll, but I’m almost through the list, so let’s keep going.
15. Evolution is a religion. Science leads to killing people.
I guess that you never heard of the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, the burning of witches, the murder of people by Charlemagne, and so on and so forth…
16. Scientists around the world are jointly involved in a conspiracy against God!
Man, this god of yours must be a real pussy if he needs you all on YouTube to defend him. For real, he must be a mega-bitch. In the Old Testament, he was blowing shit up right and left. Did Mrs. God suddenly cut his balls off? Did the birth of a kid turn him into a crying pussy? What happened to that other guy? Why does he need you and yours?
17. Bananas are perfectly designed for the human hand
There aren’t even questions anymore. Just statements that are dumb. The premise of Ray Cumfart – that the banana is made for the human hand. Remember how dumb he looked when somebody pointed out to him that bananas were a crop that we tailored for easier growing and better eating? Yeah, he must have felt real dumb.
18. Millions of years for a monkey to turn into a man? Monkeys don’t live that long.
Obvious troll is too obvious. Why did I agree to do this?
19. Why would a man want to have sex with a monkey?
Where did this question come from? It harkens me back to that bit by Dave Chappelle talking about the first case of AIDS….
20. Archaeologists want to remove the human remains first when they find a dinosaur so they can lie.
I’m gonna go bash my head into a wall for a couple seconds. Maybe then I’ll get how a person could be this dumb.
21. If a monkey gave birth to a man, who would he or she mate with?
I’ve entertained this troll enough, don’t you think?
Well, that was stupid. And while the person who made this video is obviously a troll, I actually have heard shit like this thrown around the Creationists circles. Those people are so stupid that it actually amazes me.
Until next time, a quote,
“You’re not gonna get some monkey pussy on Tuesday and then be like ‘let me call Charlene’ on Thursday! No! Once you fuck a monkey that’s a firm decision!” -Dave Chappelle, For What It’s Worth