Lucien’s Review: Persecuted

PERSECUTED - In theaters July 18th.  (PRNewsFoto/One Media LLC)Before my friend sent me this movie, I hadn’t even heard of it.  This film.  The fucking movie.  Oh my god.  What a treat.  What an absolute treat.  This is the best bad movie that I have ever seen!  For real, this movie is just awesome!  It’s literally the most blatant propaganda for right-wing Christianity that I have enjoyed watching.  In case you don’t believe that, they even got Gretchen Carlson to come from Fox News and to pander the films thrown-in-your-face message to the viewers who obviously are being told EXACTLY what they want to hear.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Part of me is so excited to be telling you all about this movie.  I just can’t hold it in!  Let’s get down to business.

The plot of the film is that a guy who looks and acts so much like Bill Clinton that I’m surprised that they didn’t just put a Clinton wig on him is introducing new legislation that would effectively combine all the world’s religions into one.  How that works is never really explained.  They seem to be counting on just how small the attention span and intelligence of their audience is when they thought up this plot.  However, the hero of the film, unfortunately played by the guy who played Dexter’s adopted father in Dexter, is a preacher man who refuses to join part in this plan.  He says that there isn’t any other way than the true way to believe in Gawd, so he is not going to be a part of it.  Since he won’t bow to pressure, faux-Clinton decides to send a black girl to drug him and take scandalous pictures with him (which, if you think about it is kind of racist and creepy, but remember the audience for this movie).  The good preacher wakes up and the girl is dead and he has been framed for her murder.  He must unravel the conspiracy and clear his name, or else.  How original.

This is normally the part where I choose whether to praise the stuff I thought was done well or castigate the stuff that I thought was bad.  However, since this entire movie was absolutely terrible in all technical respects, I can’t even go there.  Instead, I am going to talk about just how awful and how much fun this movie is.

Everything that is awesome with this movie reflects on the acting.  There isn’t anyone even approaching A-list or even B-list.  This is D-list actors and it shows.  My favorite role was faux-Clinton, played by the man who played Senator Kelly in X-Men.  He’s just so Lex Luthor brand of evil that you can’t help but love him.  It’s like, he is so convinced that he is the good guy.  He’s likeable and charming.  Naturally, the conservative audience that this film was meant for will hate what a do-gooder liberal he is.  After all, he is trying to make the world come together in peace.  The nerve!

That brings us to the main character.  I never knew that James Remar was a Fundie Christian type.  Or maybe he is just an actor who will take any job he can get.  Either way, it’s funny.  A lot like the main character in another Christian-propaganda film I reviewed, “God’s Not Dead,” this guy is such a good innocent who is being used by the EVIL people who wish to distort God’s truth into something kind and loving.  The nerve!  And of course, this good man is going to stand up to those unholy bastards and make sure that the world knows that Gawd is the way that the Fox News pundits say he is.

Which reminds me – Gretchen fucking Carlson?!  Really?!  Like the message of this movie isn’t blatant enough?!  You had to go and get a stand-in for you-all’s values system to come and do a melodramatic interview to push the message more.  It just wasn’t enough that this film is about as subtle as a freight-train.  No, no, you had to make sure that we understood about how persecuted traditional Christian values are from the liberals.  Yup, we got the message.  I mean, it was kind of hard to miss.

This film was a real treat.  This seems to be a year that has religious film after religious film that seem to be pushing the same message – that Gawd and his people are in such danger and need defending.  Kind of lit a fire under my ass the way it hasn’t been seen in a while.  I kind of got off going after religion, but now it has seen fit to come to me, and bring the worst propaganda it could find.  Which brings me to the Final Verdict.  On the one hand, this is a TERRIBLE film that should never be applauded.  On the other, it’s just so fucking terrible that it has to be admired.  I have to give it two Verdicts.  Watch it and decide for yourself.

Final Verdict on film quality
1 out of 10

Final Verdict on enjoyment
9 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

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