Why Stop at Losing Privacy? (A Response to Kathleen Parker)

I’m going to put this out there, so everyone understands – I hate sports.  For real, I hate them.  I hate them with a bittersweet passion.  I think they are one of the most overrated wastes of time in the entire world.  That said, I have been following the debacle with Donald Sterling with some interest for a while.  Not what the guy said.  Personally, I’m kind of impressed that he seems to have this zero-fuck-were-given attitude about the whole affair and hasn’t tried to placate the pathetic and needy thing that is the American public with a bullshit apology.  Another thing I hate is how every celebrity who says something even mildly offensive is expected to run and make a huge apology.  It’s just as stupid as when our parents made us do it when we were kids.  We didn’t mean it!  We did it because we were told to.  Just once, I wish there would be some big celebrity, maybe somebody like the kids in One Direction or something, who would come on air and be like – “you know, I think that Mexicans smell funny.”  And then, when the stupid and easily-butthurt American public expects an apology, they come on and say “actually, we take that back.  They smell bad!”  And then the public falls apart in despair!

However, we’re not here to talk about Donald Sterling and his dumb racist comments.  No, that’s not what interested me.  What interested me was the reactions people had.  One person in-particular has really stood out for what she had to say.  Her name is Kathleen Parker, and she is an Opinion writer for The Washington Post.  Her statements about Donald Sterling were kind of terrifying.  Here’s the article, so you can see it all for yourself, now let’s get started.

Here is the first little nugget of insanity that I want to talk about –

First the practical: If you don’t want your words broadcast in the public square, don’t say them.

Really?  You’re really advocating for this?  You even mention how Orwellian it is to say, but then double-down, stating that the world we live in is now nothing more than a gossip cesspool, and that everybody should be afraid to say anything, in case someone takes it the wrong way.

In response to that, I’d like to rehash another piece of stupidity with butthurt people and words – the bullshit with Suey Park and Stephen Colbert.  That was among the dumbest things I’ve ever had the misfortune to see.  Because of one out-of-context Tweet, the professional-victims on Twitter (where they all seem to congregate, right Melody?) lost their collective shit and went into a rage storm the likes of which I haven’t seen outside Fox News.

But this idea that when we are in our homes, we should constantly be worrying about what we say is just so ridiculous!  How do you justify this?  Do you say, “hey, it’s the world we live in.”  I mean, after all, we have to keep the Suey Parks of the world happy, right?  We can’t say anything too insensitive.  That might, you know, cause people to actually think.  And thinking in this country is bad.  Let’s all just take stuff at face value or bug people’s entire lives.  It’s only safe.  Of course, she does have a silver-lining to talk to us about.

On a higher note, such potential exposure forces us to more carefully select our words and edit our thoughts. This isn’t only a matter of survival but is essential to civilization. Speaking one’s mind isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be, as any well-balanced person reading the comments section quickly concludes.

You’re really saying this?  Speaking one’s mind isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?  Well then, can I have your job?  After all, if you don’t think it’s all its cracked up to be, then give it to me.  I actually care about the First and Fourth Amendments.  And on another note – are we all supposed to become politicians about everything?  Are we supposed to now treat every part of our lives as if they are under surveillance by everybody?  Do you really want us to live that way?

Oh, right, you do!  You do want us to live that way.  You just said, it’s “essential to civilization.”  In what context?  How?  For real, Parker, I want an explanation!  I want you to explain how the entire world becoming its own PR service is good for civilization.  We’ve been going strong for thousands of years.  I’m just DYING to know what in civilization would be improved by being afraid of saying anything all the time.  Are you Mormon?

Ever wonder who those people are? I have some thoughts but my finely tuned self-editing skills prevent my sharing. Instead, I offer a refrigerator quote I’ve always liked. It’s often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi but possibly may have tumbled from the lips of a new-age guru. Regardless of the source, it fits the occasion:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”

You know, I don’t like to come down on a man who started a revolution to free India from Britain, but that quote is about as stupid as the one Yoda had in Episode I about Anakin’s fear.  This causality chain is nuts!  What’s more, it does NOT, in the slightest, defend your bullshit position.  Also, good thing that you don’t actually talk about what you think of people.  After all, if you voiced an opinion that might cause people to actually think.  Thinking leads to questions.  Questions lead to answers.  Answers lead to confusion. Confusion leads to frustration.  Frustration leads to drinking. Drinking leads to domestic violence.  See what I just did there, Parker?

This idea you have about the world self-editing itself is nuts, and the fact that you are able to stand tall and believe in it says a lot about you.  If you don’t mind, I think that we’ll stick to having dumb-fuck people on the Internet say stupid and crazy shit, so we can also have people who can talk about stuff without having to constantly be afraid of pissing people off.  The path you walk has too high a cost for society.

Until next time, a quote,

“Who wants to live in a world where the only privacy you have is inside your head?”  -Bill Maher

Peace out,



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