To all my viewers, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter! We are celebrating the rise of our savior, through whom all of us are saved. Only through him do you gain entrance into paradise. Only through him do you get into the favor of the Almighty. Only through him do you reach the paradise where all is great and you can live in happiness forever. Yes, it is only through our savior, the Easter Bunny, that you can reach Paradise.
In the Book of Lucien, 4:20, it says,
And ‘lo did the Bunny come into the Temple. When he doth saw the snakes and vipers, selling their heretical wares of fruits and vegetables, he became enraged. In his rage, the Bunny threw over the stalls and cast them out of the Temple. And they knew that he was the Lord, when he laid his vengeance upon them.
The wise and powerful Bunny stood against many of the Deceiver, Skellington’s, followers. He told of the great knowledge kept in the bar of candy and the creme-filled egg. His disciples gave up everything to follow him. He endured all the torments of Skellington, from the temptation of sugarless candy in the desert, to the whiles of Cupid and his harlots. But our savior stood against them all!
However, he was betrayed by one within his circle. He was turned over to the Governor. According to the Book of Lucien 25:25-27 –
When the Bunny had gathered his followers, he came into the midst of them. “My children, one of you has betrayed me tonight.”
They all could not believe. Jack Frost, the first among them stood up. “Father, surely it is not I! I would never speak falsely against you!”
The Bunny looked to him and said, “Verily I say unto you – you shall deny me three times tonight.”
The wisdom of the great Bunny in his prediction. When the disciple, Jack Frost, did as he predicted, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But the Bunny’s hanging on the spit, over the fires of Skellington, were not in vain. For he died for us, my friends! The Bunny died so that we could be forgiven. That is why the Almighty, Santa Claus, sent him to Earth. He was so loving that he sent his only son to die for our sins. His son paid that price so that we can be absolved of the sin of our existence because the first man and woman ate of the Forbidden Candy. We are not worthy of this gift, yet he gave it to us anyway. That just fills me with so much love for our Lord and Savior. Doesn’t it do that to you?
Today, we must do as Bunny has commanded and gather family and friends. After having given thanks to him and to the Almighty Santa, we must partake of the chocolate and the fruity sweets. Let not the vegetables and fruits touch your lips! Let not the meats and grains! It must be as the Almighty has commanded! For we must honor the wonderful sacrifice of his only son, so that we can have eternal life!
Of course, there are those who think that all of this is silly. They will say that we have a belief that is scientifically false. They blaspheme against the Bunny by saying that his fruits are not healthy and will make you unhealthy. These are lies against Santa! Do not let yourself be dissuaded by their blasphemy! We have the Word of Santa guiding us, unlike those immoral atheists, who have no way of telling what’s right from wrong. I mean, if they don’t listen to the Word, how do they have morals?! It’s obvious that they are just rebelling against Santa, so they don’t have to deal with their sin. It’s sad, really. But don’t let their arguments turn you from your faith. Pray for them, because it’s clear that they need the prayers.
Happy Zombie Bunny Day, everyone! Let us all give thanks for all that the Bunny has given us! In Santa’s name, Amen!