The Fall of Sexy Calenders

Well, now that Christmas time has passed, I thought that we could take you through a thought process about the changing world, and how it affects us.  We came to this thought process through a discussion about a gift to the father-unit on Christmas.  See, it’s a tradition in my house for the mother-unit to get the old man a Sports Illustrated or some-such magazine, featuring the scantily-clad and well-endowed models that they get, these calenders have become something of a tradition that we can all laugh at in the nuclear family.  However, that changed this year.  This year, the scantily clad went even more scantily, if you know what I mean.  We’re going to analyze why.

It all starts with the fall of the bookstores.  See, the Internet has changed the world, for better and for always.  It has changed the nature of business in this country, interaction and global communication.  The biggest name if online retail is Amazon.  It is a powerful and efficient little monster that we use to get our new animes, movies, TV shows (because Netflix just doesn’t look as good on my TV as DVD. 😛 ), books and random other stuff.  Anyway, in addition to changing the way a lot of things are sold, Amazon has almost single-handedly killed bookstores.

Borders was the first to go.  Waldenbooks fell soon after.  The last of the major book retailers to be open is Barnes & Noble, and that’s just because it has a coffee shop in it.  But that won’t save it for long.  In addition, the down-home bookstores are also going the way of the dodo.  It’s gotten to a point in some places where these places are openly asking for money.  While that is sad, that’s also the cost of progress.  However, with the fall of bookstores, the fall of sexy calenders is a natural reaction.

See, you didn’t find the sexy calenders at a typical retail store.  They have to be careful about their image of being family-friendly.  So instead, you would go to bookstores and find them.  But, now that they are gone, these calenders are a natural thing that would be lost as well.  Part of the course of history altering – sexy calenders are a victim.  So sad, for…horny men who can’t find porn on the Internet.

At my job, we often find someone who gets the swimsuit issues of Sports Illustrated and takes them into a back corner.  We often…get why they have them.  But it always begs the question – if you are savvy enough to know what this is, where to find it and how to find a corner where you can fap and no one will notice, why not just look at real porn at home?  It seems kind of a silly thing to do to come to a place where you could very easily get caught with your dick in your hand, when you could have a lot more privacy and comfort in your house.  We have come up with a couple of possibilities for why people do this.

The first is that they don’t have Internet at their house.  If only we nationalized Internet in America, then we could give everyone the chance to go home and fap in peace.  Am I right?

The second is that they have a significant other who is not fond of their person fapping to women who aren’t them.  But, if you have Internet, are you unable to find time when that person isn’t at home?  Unless you’ve got Overly Attached Girlfriend (which, in reality, most are) living with you, they aren’t going to scour your computer for what you look at.  The common argument that women use is that guys shouldn’t want anyone else.  Yeah, sweetie, I’ll give you that same line when you are checking out a hot guy or enjoying movies with hot guys, eh?

The times certainly are a-changin’.  It’s easy to see the major ways that things have changed, but it’s the little things that get you.  Now, it will be a little bit trickier for people who are too shy to buy calenders with women without clothes to find calenders for women who might as well not have clothes.  I mean, it’s all fake anyway.  The wonders of Photoshop.

Until next time, a quote,

“Kids these days…” -Old people

Peace out,



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