Single Mothers Keeping Their Children is Wrong?! (A Response to Southern Baptist Richard Land)

There are some people who I can excuse for being dick-mules, because of where they come from.  I defended Paula Deen when she made a little minor racial gaff because of the fact that she’s old, raised in the deep south and it wasn’t malicious hatred.  It was the racism she was raised with.  While not right, it wasn’t that bad.  I defended Jerry Sandusky by saying that if we are going to say that he should be raped, how does that make us any better than him?  But some people are just so foul that I lose the ability to think up a rational excuse.  This man, Richard Land, is one of them.  A man so foul that I am losing the ability to think of ways that I can insult him without sounding nice.

Recently, in a publication called The Christian Post, Land had some choice words for single mothers.  Going old-school on this.  Here’s a link to the post, now let’s tear this sexist and lacking any empathy asshole to pieces.

Saturday, November 23, is National Adoption Day. This observance gives Americans the opportunity to focus on this neglected, multi-faceted issue that impacts our national future in significant ways.

I’m sure you mean to enlighten us.

First, Christians of all denominational persuasions across America should ask themselves this question, “As a Christian, what should my response be to the issue of adoption?” A biblical response to that question would go a long way toward successfully addressing the child neglect and child abuse crisis that afflict America.

Oh really?  Like when it talks in the Bible about stoning children who are uppity to death?  Or how about when Lot gives his daughter to the mob to prevent them from raping angels?  Or maybe the section where God has a bear rip apart some children who insulted Elijah?  Or perhaps we could talk about God giving the Christians armies permission to keep the virgin daughters of a conquered land as fuck-slaves after they killed everyone else.  That kind of biblical response?

Currently there are more than 100,000 children in foster care in America alone, with many times more across the globe, awaiting permanent adoption into loving “forever” families.

Wow, he actually talked about an issue.  I’m impressed.  But here’s a question – what constitutes a “forever” family?  I mean, if we’re talking about Christian families, then that’s a joke.  Divorce rates among Christians are sky-rocketing.  So yeah, mute point.

I would encourage all eligible Christian couples to pray seriously about whether or not God wants them to adopt children in need of loving, caring parents.

If they need Gawd for this decision, then they are already in trouble.  Empathy should guide them on this.  Not some imaginary sky-daddy.

Adoption is not only the best answer for the heartache and loneliness of foster children and those in orphanages both here and around the world, but it is also the best answer in almost every case where a mother finds herself with a “problem” pregnancy. Such pregnancies can arise from numerous circumstances, but most commonly they are a “problem” because the father is not married to the mother.

I just love in these Christian pep-talks and ego-stroking, they never talk about rape.  It’s like, “if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist!”  Too bad the buy-bull, I mean Bible, is chock-full of rape.  Also, yeah, every single mother is just like, “Oh no, I’m not married to the father!  I need an abortion!”  Fucking genius…

Currently, almost all such single mothers choose either to abort or keep their babies (only 1 percent of such pregnancies currently end in adoption). Last year, 53 percent of babies born to women under thirty were born to single mothers. And yet, though adoption is seldom chosen in response to such pregnancies, it is virtually always the best option for everyone concerned.

Where on EARTH are you getting your statistics?!  There isn’t a SINGLE link on this post to anything, so where the fuck are you getting this?  Like single mothers are all just running to Planned Parenthood like “oh shit, got knocked up.  Can you deal with this?”  The misogyny displayed here is abhorred.  I feel sick.  As for adoption being the best option, I’ll get to that at the end of this.

Killing your “problem” or “unwanted” pregnancy through abortion is never an acceptable option (unless the child is a direct and immediate threat to the mother’s continued physical life.) In an abortion, the baby always dies, and we lose that child’s unique and never to be known God-given gifts and contributions to the world. Further, an abortion is much more traumatic physically to a mother’s future reproductive life than carrying a baby to term would be. There are also often lingering psychological issues for the mother as well.

Again, where are you getting your information?  I’d love a source or two.  Oh, did Gawd whisper it in your ear, you fucking chauvinist?  This idea that the women who do this are just sluts or idiots offends me.  I once had a friend who was 17 years old when her boyfriend at the time was insistent upon them having sex.  She got knocked up, and then had to make the unbelievably hard choice about what to do.  Her family was dirt-poor, the boyfriend had treated her like a sex toy and she had no options.  The decision to have an abortion was one that took her so much effort to make, and she never took it lightly.  This belief that the women who do this are doing it because it is easy just pisses me the fuck off.  Yeah, there is psychological issues, but not like you think.  I cannot hate you enough.

Keeping the baby is almost never preferable to allowing a baby to be adopted into a solid, faithful Christian home. A single mother who keeps her baby is quite often denying that baby the father that God wants for that baby, and every baby, to have. Furthermore, in most circumstances, keeping the baby circumscribes and forecloses both the mother’s and the baby’s economic futures in tragic and unfortunate ways.

And now we come to the point that I have been wanting to for this post – single mothers are doing something wrong by keeping the baby.  That’s the argument that this sexist asshole is making.  Yes, because a single mother has NEVER raised a good kid, right?

Here is a list of a few people from single homes who show your contention to be bullshit –
Stephen Colbert
Bill Clinton
Enrique Iglesias
Samuel L. “Bad Mutha Fucka” Jackson
Jet Li
Jack Nicholson
President Barack Obama
Tupac Shakur
Sir Paul McCartney

So yeah, you are full of shit and offensive on SO many levels!  But we’re not done.

If the mother is doing what is best for her baby (one of the defining marks of maternal love), she will part with her baby so that it will have the future God intended for him or her to have.

UGH!  You foul, venereal disease-ridden piece of shit!  What an awful thing to say!  This is disgusting!  Hell, you aren’t even a piece of shit.  Calling you that would be to step on the good name of shit.  You’re worse than shit.  You’re like gonorrhea or syphilis.  Yes, single mothers, who probably love their children, should give them up for Gawd.  If that’s something he actually believes, then fuck him too!

Adoption allows the mother to give her child both a mother and a father who will love and cherish the child. Also with today’s open adoption policies, she can have as much or as little contact with, and information about, her child as she desires. She can dictate the terms of the adoption (monthly reports, quarterly visits, etc.), and the adoptive parents either agree or the adoption does not occur.

Because that makes it all better or any easier, right?

It is a tragedy of tragedies that only 1 percent of the “problem” pregnancies in America end in adoption. The terrible cost of the lost human potential of the aborted children is both breath-taking and overpowering, as well as the heartache of parents who long to adopt, but cannot find children to embrace and love as their own.

This point about parents who are looking to adopt but who “cannot find children to embrace and love as their own.”  Pay attention to it.  We’ll be coming back to it soon.

Let’s all get behind adoption as the best option. After all, adoption has followed the Christian faith wherever it has gone in the world, and for good reason. Adoption reflects God’s love experienced by all professing Christians throughout the last two millennia.

And that’s the end of this man’s article.

Alright, time to get ugly.  It’s telling that he said that women who don’t give up their children for adoption are denying people a chance to give a kid a good home.  Why, didn’t you just say that there are over 100,000 kids currently in the system?  The number’s actually much bigger here in the US.  According to a AFCARS Report, there are 400,000 children currently in the system right now.  They don’t need to be “given up.”  They’re there, right now!  So, why aren’t all these good “forever families” adopting them left and right?

Well, it’s because they aren’t babies!  See, adoption typically only works when it’s a baby.  Because people love babies.  If it’s a baby, then there’s no baggage with the kid.  It’s easy.  Raising a kid who was taken from a problem house, with a lot of issues, that’s hard.  People are lazy by nature, so naturally we take the simpler option.

But this idea that adoption is the best option, the last person I truly loved was raised in the system.  Her and her little sister.  Her strung-out junkie mother left them at a home, saying she’d come right back.  No one knows where she is now.  If I could find her, I would kick the shit out of her for what she did to those children.  Growing up in a group home in Chicago, where the gang violence of the streets comes right in to the home, is hell.  She never told me what she had to do to keep her and her little sister safe.  I never asked.  If she didn’t want to say, I respected that.  This imaginary belief that adoption is so wonderful is so stupid and so antithetical to the facts that it just pisses me off even more.  Adoption hurts people.  It makes their lives harder.  Because if they aren’t picked when they are a baby or really little, the chance that they will ever get out of the system is so small that it breaks my heart.

I never told anyone this, but the girl I knew, she had a chance to get out.  There was a couple who she talked to, who was wanting to adopt a kid.  She was smart, quick-thinking and more well-adjusted than most.  But there was a problem – her little sister.  The kid was rambunctious, loud and didn’t follow directions well.  So, if they were to get her, they told her that they could only take one.  She declined, saying that she wasn’t going anywhere without her little sister.  That was the one and only time she ever saw a chance to escape.  She stayed, because without her, her little sister wouldn’t have survived.  She’s dead now, and her little sister got out.  It wasn’t anything approaching a happy ending.

One last thing I want to touch on is this idea that parting with the kid is just so fucking easy.  The aforementioned former friend who got knocked-up, she told me that if she had carried that child to term and given birth to it, she couldn’t have given it up.  It was easier to destroy a clump of cells that wasn’t a person, yet.  Easier to not allow this growth inside to become something more than to know that she was never going to see this child again and never be a part of its life.  That it would live with someone else.

Richard Land, you make me sick.  You are such a misogynist.  It can’t be argued that.  Your open dismissal of single mothers and the struggles they go through to give their children a good life, it’s reprehensible.  I hope that someday, you get to be a single parent, working two jobs to make ends meet and barely having enough time to see your children, much less have a relationship with them.  Maybe then you wouldn’t be so cavalier with your statements that giving a child up is so easy.

Until next time, a quote,

“You know the things I went through as a youngster, coming into the business, all the good, the bad and the ugly that came. I’d had a rough life. I grew up single parent. My mom, she was like a father to me.”  -Raekwon

Peace out,

Maverick

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