So, you clicked on this link. You clicked on this, and if you did, then you fall into one of two categories – 1. the people who read my blog regularly and are probably annoyed that I’m not adding on to the story that I have been so faithfully working on (don’t worry, that’s not going anywhere. I just needed to get this off my chest), or 2. people who actually believe that this post is going to be about Miley Cyrus having sex with an emu (I bet half the dumb-shits who read that are like “what’s an emu?”)
If you are in group 2, now that I have you here, let’s talk about something – something important! I know, this will be new territory for you, since you have probably never given a shit about anything important in your entire life. But hey, here’s trying, right? Anyway, while you decided to click on this crap, I just thought that I would tell you that right now, as you read this, the government of the United States has shut down! Did you know that? I know, this will be news for you. After all, you are in the group that has absolutely saturated every single news outlet with crap like the latest boring and pointless thing that Miley fucking Cyrus does. Since you have nothing of actual value to contribute to the world, I thought I would let you know.
And this is important to know because this is going to get people killed! That’s right, this shutdown is going to get people killed. The reason for this is because it affects a lot of different programs in pretty serious ways. The CDC won’t be able to do their annual flu-shot program, right as flu season starts up. So yeah, a lot of old and young people (who you obviously don’t give a shit about) are going to die. Oh yeah, and the FDA won’t be able to do a lot of their food safety programs, so we will have unsafe food coming to store shelves (I can already hear the Paulites being like “yay! It’s an Ayn Rand utopia!”). Soldiers with disabilities won’t be able to get their medical needs taken care of if this goes on longer than 2 weeks. So all the Republican schtick about saying that they love soldiers, it’s crap. They don’t give a shit. Hell, they’re holding the country hostage until their demands are met! I believe we have a word for people like that. It’s one of those “isms.” And it involves terror. Terror, ism. Oh, right – terrorism! The GOP is filled with terrorists! I bet you didn’t know that.
Oh hey, now that we’ve got you here, why don’t we talk about some other stuff of relevance. I mean, this is probably the only time that you are going to be given stuff like this to think about (because you have no brain), so we might as well make it worth something.
Student loan defaults are starting to get pretty damn big. Since we have massive degree inflation in our culture and full-time jobs are going the way of the dodo, it is looking like this is going to be a repeat of the housing foreclosures, when people defaulted on that. Only this time we will have millions of students with nowhere to go and no way out of being wage-slaves to the government. Maybe if we had Miley Cyrus sitting in a place, butt-naked and talking about it, you might actually pay attention. A small dream, huh?
Oh, and there is a story about a girl who was 18, who was arrested and charged with rape for being in a relationship with 14 year old girl. Four years age difference, and the parents of the girl she was with decided to throw the book at her. Maybe if we had Miley Cyrus twerking with the girl who plead guilty to a lesser count, getting three years in jail and a few more in house-arrest, then you would care. She’s 19, now, and these people have ruined her life. So yeah, there’s that.
Another thing that comes to me – you all are idiots! I mean, we have had countless bits of proof about how stupid the human race is. There were the “beliebers” who thought that Anne Frank, who has been dead for a LONG time, was hating on their worthless idol. Then there was the fact that old people are so in love with the Republican Party that they don’t care that they are holding their government hostage until they get their way. Now, we have a look at the common American, who is so stupid that they think that a story about how Miley Cyrus does anything now is worth reading about, drowning out all the news that is actually important.
You know what, I better have a sexy picture of this idiot, so that those who do image searches can find this post and can be educated for a few seconds too. Here you go –
If you are in Group 2, you’re stupid, you are making the generations that come after you stupid and I hope you all never get any real power, because you aren’t worthy of it.
Fuck you.
Until next time, a quote,
“No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” -H.L. Mencken
Peace out,
Maverick
Lucien Maverick's Den 