If there is one thing about the Internet, it has a gift at getting rid of your misconceptions. For instance – every time that a person thinks to themselves – I have officially seen the dumbest thing on the Internet, they are proven wrong. For real, think back – when was the last time that you thought you saw something so ridiculously stupid, and then you saw something a few days later that proved your belief about it being the stupidest thing ever wrong? And don’t ANY of you talk about the Miley Cyrus bullshit. NO ONE CARES!
Today, I have gotten to finally see the stupidest person of all time. For real, I am making a standing wager that it doesn’t get any stupider than this. Let me introduce you to Jerome Corsi. He is a talking head for the Tea Party, which is still a thing in this country, believe it of not. This man is so fucking dumb that he has actually said something that leaves me speechless. What, you may ask? Well, I’m not going to give you that answer yet. I want to build up comedic suspense. I’m going to do this old-school style, by this blog’s standards. Here is the link to it, so you can hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, and we will do this point-by-point. Enjoy.
Our Founding Fathers knew that if we went in this direction (same-sex marriage), there is no moral compass!
Really? Because I don’t remember reading anything by Ben Franklin about butt-fucking or gay people getting married. Do you? Given how little the Teatards know about this country’s Founding Fathers, I suppose that they see it that way, but in the real world, this was not something that they talked about. At any point. Ever.
And you won’t be able to explain to your children. You won’t be able to, you’ll have to face the fact that we lost holding the line on one of the most principle issues in the Bible. And that is – sex is not about fun!
Well, I didn’t keep you waiting long. There it is, folks! Sex is not about fun! Straight from the horse-ass’s mouth, we are being told that sex is not about fun. Uh…I’m about to get unbelievably immature about this, so if you don’t like that sort of thing, you might want to leave. But Corsi, I have to ask – what kind of sex are you having? Are you getting it on with your wife (assuming that he is married. I ask you, ladies, what guy do you know that thinks that sex is just an obligation and not fun at all who is dating material?) and saying, “alright, honey, we’re doing that procreation thing. What a pain. I swear, this is so annoying! I could be out reading the Bible! Or maybe I could be tilling my fields! Scratch that. I clearly am not fit enough for that work. Or I could be hating on people who haven’t done anything to me! I swear, it’s a good thing that I have an attachment to you that didn’t originally come from sexual desire, otherwise, this need to have sex would be a real deal-breaker!”
For real, all romantic relationships, and I do mean ALL of them come from sexual desire. You see someone who you find attractive and pursue them. That’s how it starts. To keep a relationship going, you have to form an underlying connection, but it all starts with wanting to jump the person and have lots of dirty fun with them. To get all hot, sweaty, heavy and nasty with them in bed and enjoy every minute of it. And the reason that we do this is, and I know this might confuse you – sex is fun! For real, the entire reason that our species does this as often as we do is because it feels good, and we have a powerful drive that leads us to what feels good. If sex was a horrifically ugly process that made us feel terrible, then we wouldn’t do it. We are one of a VERY small number of animals that has sex for fun. Also on that list are dolphins. Cute, loveable and innocent-looking dolphins. For real, they congregate and have these huge orgies. It’s the strangest and most erotic thing in nature. Massive dolphin orgies. Yeah, I gave you that thought. You’re welcome.
I’m going to continue now, but I want to say again – this man says that sex isn’t about fun. I don’t censor comments, so if you want to mock this man in an even more immature way, feel free. Carte blanche here, people. But we’re not done.
You wanna have fun? Read a book! Go to a movie!
Okay, just putting this out there – if reading a book or watching a movie is more fun for you than sex, then I feel bad for the women you’ve gotten with. You must be the more boring lay of all time! For real, people, mock to your heart’s content. This is…amazing…
Sex is about the procreation of children. It’s a sacred responsibility. It was meant by God for men to commit their lifetime to children.
Huh, funny you should say that. I could have swore that God had a passage in the Bible about how it is cool to murder one’s child. Let me see, where was it. Oh, right! Here it is –
Deuteronomy, Chapter 21, Verses 18-21
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father and the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, bring him out unto the elders of his city and unto the gate of his place; And shall say unto the elders of the city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious and does not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Well, there you have it. They say that you can up and murder your child if they behave like a normal child. They give people permission to murder their children in cold blood, and even get the whole community on-board. More of that Christian love for ya. I also remember a passage where God sends a bear to rip up a bunch of children for mocking one of his prophets. What was that again…?
2 Kings, Chapter 2, Verse 23-24
And when he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way there came forth little chiren out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, ‘Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.’ And he turned back and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
So he’s cool with murdering children, cool with sending animals to murder children and he is even cool with sending his armies to slay all of the children, as his armies did in the conquest of Jericho, where they slayed everyone but the girls who were of age (which back then was about 14), so they could take them home as fuck-slaves. And this Teatard would like us to believe that all sexuality is about making children because it is a sacred duty. Okay.
And anyone with my daughter, anyone, any child, the key question when they’re gonna get married is – do you wanna look at this person for 55 years? You better be sure you like them!
And…gays and lesbians don’t do that? Wow. That’s more than a little insulting. It’s straight-up bigotry. Not surprising, given the group that you’re pandering to. The Tea Party was famous for it, in their glory days.
Because it could happen!
Well, if people like you get their way, not for gays and lesbians. Asshole.
And that’s the way God meant it!
Yeah, except in all these cases –
God mean men and women- it’s not easy! No marriage is easy!
True, no marriage is. And yet you are standing in the way of people who want marriages of their own. So that they can decide for themselves how to live their lives.
No marriage is perfect. Every marriage succeeds because the man and woman decide to make it succeed!
Did you hear that gays and lesbians? You apparently don’t decide to make it succeed. I guess, in this man’s eyes, no gay or lesbian couple has had a long-lasting marriage. Fucking genius…
And it can be done with help from the pastor. It can be done with the help from the belief in God! That there is a higher purpose! And if we lose that, we lose everything.
Okay, serious moment here. For any Christards in my audience – what exactly do you lose? From where I’m sitting, the only thing you really lose is your monopoly on marriage. You lose this self-imposed moral imperative that you think makes your marriages so fucking important. Look at the graphic above. It shows that biblically, you have nothing. King David had his little harem. King Solomon did too. Christian soldiers took women from conquered nations as fuck-slaves, that they could have with their wife. They could also take the spouses of slaves and fuck them too. So marriage is in no way biblical. Not the way you understand it. What exactly do you lose if you let gays and lesbians marry? From where I’m sitting, you lose the egotistical side of this that says, “we are so important and our beliefs are so good! Just look at this part of society that our religion decided to make, even though our holy book doesn’t endorse it! We are so righteous!” Yeah, that makes a lot of fucking sense.
It’s not like if two gay guys or a lesbian couple can marry, the stock market is going to crash and the Constitution is going to burst into flames with a laughing demon coming out of it. It’s not the end of the fucking world. So what exactly do you lose with this? If someone could answer me, that would be great. And don’t quote Leviticus at me. If you do, I’ll throw the passage that talks about how eating shellfish is a mortal sin at you and ask if you eat shrimp.
And the answer is – shut ‘er down! Keep the churches open, shut the government down!
Oh yeah! What a great idea! We could have Inquisitions again! Or maybe the burning of witches! That was always cool! Or how about we get those black people back into slavery. Cause the Bible says that it is cool. So we should do that too. A religious autocracy has proven, if you follow history, to be the best form of government, right? Right?
And you better to back to your pastors and question them on this. And if they’re hesitating, oh, they don’t wanna offend anybody! They don’t wanna have the homosexuals protest! Get a new pastor! Pastors should be fired on the spot!
Because if they don’t support bigotry, then they aren’t real Christians. Yeah, this view makes sense to me, given what Teatards like this guy believe.
This war, and I wrote the book, is to arm you with the arguments! (guy comes in and places a giant-ass bible there, in support. Crowd cheers) Well, I can’t accept that as a gift, but I’ll accept it here for the time being. That’s why I wrote that one (reference to his own book, which he has a copy of). And it has been a hard message that America doesn’t want to hear. Because it’s a lot easier to say, ‘well that’s alright. We don’t want to offend the homosexuals. We don’t want to be called bigots. We don’t want to be called racists.’ Well if they want to call me a racist, go ahead! They want to call me a bigot, go ahead! But I’m not gonna be judged on what somebody called me. I’m gonna be judged on the adherence to God’s law!
Alright, Corsi. That’s how you wanna play this, okay. You ARE a bigot. You ARE a racist. You are a prejudiced piece of shit that is what is wrong with this country. You are one of the worst people in this world, and you are one of the stupidest as well, if not THE stupidest. I started this post in good humor, but let me say that you and your little in-crowd are all pieces of shit, and it kills me how dedicated you are to voting in more pieces of shit like you.
Fuck every last one of you. Not even joking. Fuck. You.
Until next time, a quote,
“Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.” -Bill Maher, Religulous