I remember growing up as a kid, I went to Lutheran church every Sunday. It was boring, tedious, and I hated every minute of it. I couldn’t stand that I had to take up my time at this place, and it felt like a waste. But, despite that, I did pay attention to what the preacher and Sunday School teachers said. And one thing that they talked about, a lot, was Jesus. Well, duh. Being Christians, that kind of comes up. After all, he is supposed to be the son of God (yet also god. What was that song about the guy who was his own grandpa?). Still, it came up.
I remember hearing, over and over and over again, how Jesus sacrificed himself, and how I, the pitiful mortal wretch, should feel indebted to him. That his sacrifice was so amazing.
He died for our sins! Through him, we are all forgiven.
Heard that a lot. There was also a lot of stuff about how wondrous this sacrifice was, and how we should be so grateful. But the more I thought about this, even as a kid, the more I cocked an eyebrow. Something about this story didn’t make sense.
First, read the Bible. In every gospel, Jesus knew EXACTLY what was coming his way. Before he was imprisoned and taken before Pilate, he gathered his group of men (lots and lots of men. Traveling together. Just men. Yeah…) and told the guys, “hey, I’m going to be betrayed tonight. It’s gonna be one of ya’ll. Oh, and another one of you will deny me three times. Just giving you the heads up.” He knew that he was going to be beaten and murdered.
So, Lucien? What’s the problem?
A sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice unless it is truly for something. If Jesus knew what was going to go down the entire time, then he didn’t truly give anything up. If anything, he was following the plan, like a good little heavenly being. He was doing what he daddy (who is also him. Logic, what’s that?!) said. His daddy (who is him) even told him what was about to go down. So, how did he sacrifice? He didn’t. He took a beating and if you believe what happened in that story, he took it like a man, but in the end, he knew that he was just following the plan.
That brings us to the second problem in the story – he really didn’t lose anything. Think about this – the dude gets beaten. That sucks. He then gets murdered. That sucks too. But, after spending a couple days in Hell, he then rises into Heaven and is totally chilling with his daddy (who is also him) and the Holy Spook for all eternity! When one sacrifices, they actually lose something. It is always something valuable to them. What exactly did Jesus lose? If anything, he gained from this “sacrifice.” He lost his mortal body, but he gets to live in paradise, and demand that everybody worship the little fucker for all eternity. Yeah, I can totally see how he did something so noble.
Next, why did God have to have this ridiculous human sacrifice to forgive us of our sins? Last I checked (according to the Christians), he is supposed to be the creator of the universe, right? He can snap his fingers, like the Q and make anything happen, right? Well, in that case, why not just forgive us? Without all the nonsense of this human sacrifice that, back in the days of Jesus, wouldn’t have even been known to the people until months or years later, because they didn’t exactly have the internet back then. Information took a LONG time to get around. But yeah, this being, who supposedly is all-powerful, couldn’t just wiggle his nose and forgive us? That makes no sense! Why do you Christians not see it, but I do?
Another plot hole in this story – why the sudden turnaround? Why did God go from being a vengeful tyrant, as he most certainly was in the Old Testament, to being this guy who is all about the forgiveness? In the Old Testament, God was kind of a psychotic monster. He would kill people, slaughter entire populations (while letting those who did the slaughtering take home the virgin daughters as their fuck-slaves) and he even flooded the entire world, committing global genocide. Where did this nice guy who suddenly thinks that forgiveness is the right thing to do come from? Did God get on some meds for his anger issues? Must be the good stuff. I can think of somebody who should look his doctor up.
The fact is that, if one uses logic (something I know Christians are very uncomfortable with), this story makes no sense. None. Not the mention all the contradictions in the gospels themselves about everything that happened. Oh, and the fact that not one of the gospels written was during Jesus’ lifetime, so we’ll never know if any of it was true. No, there are just too many glaring plot-holes for this story to work. And yet, all the time, I am hearing from Christians about how Jesus died for me, and I should be so grateful, and how I am wasting his “sacrifice.”
But the reality is that there was no sacrifice. He knew what was coming, and he knew that after suffering for a couple of days, he gets to have an awesome time in heaven, chilling with his sky-daddy (who is also him). This story is blatantly false, but the sad fact is that me saying that is just going to mix with the choir of atheists and agnostics who say that this is ridiculous. The Christians don’t listen to reason. They never have. Faith is impenetrable by logic. It’s the reason the Catholic church has stayed as powerful as it has for so long.
But thankfully, there is hope. With information being so readily available as it is now, religion is disappearing at record speeds. They simply cannot keep their tower of lies and bullshit aloft without ignorance anymore. And once their tower crumbles under the weight of its own corruption, I say, good riddance!
Until next time, a quote,
“And while you’re at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in Hell, and all the hallelujah’s of the legion angels for eternity. Try seven years in fucking Otisville J!” -Monty Brogan, 25th Hour