Mormonism – a fun religion started by a Rapist/Pedophile

“Joseph Smith was called a Prophet, dumb, du-dumb-dumb-dumb!”

Yup, that’s about how this works.  So, I’m going to do something I haven’t really done before – attack the Mormons.  I went after scientologists, so now, I want to go and make a spectacle of the Mormons.  These guys are the funniest religion I have ever seen.  Their beliefs are so bat-shit crazy that you actually have to take some time out and listen to this stuff to find out how nuts it is.  But some of the really freaky stuff you might not believe.  That said, here is the mormon faith in a nutshell.  I’ll give it to you as a series of facts.

Fact 1 – they believe that their faith is the only right one, and all the others are wrong.

Okay, that’s not too crazy.  All religions that I have seen have that same viewpoint.

Fact 2 – they believe God is not a being outside of the universe, but that he lives on a planet near the star of Kolob.  He is a flesh and blood creature that is roughly six feet tall.

It’s hard not to laugh.  Something I love most is that Christians get a laugh with me, but don’t see the tragic irony of that.  They believe that a rib-woman ate the fruit of a magic tree, was told by a talking snake, and was cursed with a sin that it takes a Jewish brown-skinned Middle Eastern zombie to fix, by eating his flesh and drinking his blood (cannibalism, much?), while telepathically telling him that you accept him as your lord and savior, to forgive.  I won’t get into the nit and grit of how stupid that argument is (he lives on a far-away star but can affect Earth and create all life, and be all places?  What the fuck?!), because we have so much more ground to cover.

Fact 3 – to produce Jesus, he actually fucked Mary.  None of that virgin-birth shit.  He outright fucked her.

So, how is Mitt Romney going to be running against Obama when he has just pissed off half the Christians in this country?

Fact 4 – they believe that black people are cursed because they didn’t side with Jesus in the war against Satan.  Now don’t tell me they don’t hold that view anymore.  They didn’t deny it, just pushed it aside, to keep their tax exemption status.  They also believe that if a black person prays hard enough, they will become white.

We’ve finally explained Michael Jackson!

Fact 5 – According to Joseph Smith (the rapist/pedophile/sycophant), after Jesus was crucified, he came to America and met the Native Americans, and that they are the lost tribe of the Jews.  How they got darker skin is, well, that story is a little racist, even for me, so we’ll leave it there.

Boy, I hope this religion isn’t on the up and up, because of Jesus was an Native American, us white people are so fucked!  I mean, think about how we have treated the natives of this country.  We couldn’t kiss Jesus’ ass enough!

Fact 6 – they believe the Garden of Eden was in Missouri.  The New Jerusalem will be there too.

I hear most Christians believe it was in Rome, somewhere near the Vatican (if it was a real place, it was probably somewhere in Iraq or Palestine, given that the Bible takes place in the Middle East).

 Fact 7 – Mormons collect the names of dead people.  They are stored in a mountain vault.

No bullshit here.  These people actually collect the names of the dead.  The vault is located in Granite Mountain, Utah.  There, they store records of as many dead people as they can possibly find.  It’s really, really creepy.  The Mormons collect dead people.  Why, you may ask?  Well, that’s easy –

Fact 8 – Mormons actually can convert dead people.

Here are some examples of people they have actually converted: Joan of Arc, Buddha, Anne Frank, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Genghis Khan and Mitt Romney’s dad-in-law.  I love this religion.  It’s so bat-shit insane, and so many people look down on it, all the wonder not realizing their hypocrisy for not looking at their own faith with such a critical eye.  Not to mention sick beyond all belief because they have also converted Holocaust victims.  Gotta love how totally heartless Mormons are there.  Because, as they know, their religion is the right one.  Mormons are the perfect example to me of why all religions are equally stupid.

Fact 9 – they believe in magic underpants.

Here are some things the magic underpants can protect you from – fire, knives, bullets, grenades and Satan.  I’d love to see one of them going into battle with those magic underwear, front and center, because he’s so sure he would live.

Fact 10 – they believe that you need a secret password to get into Heaven.

I don’t find this as crazy as the Christian belief that when you get there, you are judged in context with a test that you don’t know the rules of, but have to pass.  Well now, those are some funny facts.  But here are some not so funny ones that really irk me about their religion.

Fact 11 – the moment you leave the church, you are a social outcast, you have committed social suicide.

A lot like Jehovah’s witnesses, the moment a person leaves the church, they are a social pariah.  They are something to look down up, something to despise.  Their social hierarchy will attack you on the spot.  But really, if you look at their social hierarchy, it gets even creepier.

Fact 12 – in the eyes of the Mormon faith, if you do what you want, it’s a sin.  You are ABSOLUTELY to do what you are told by the members of the church hierarchy.

Christianity isn’t much better in these regards, and it’s equally fucked-up.  Sorry, but there’s no way around that.

Fact 13 – It is EXTREMELY sexist.

Mormon women are given extreme gender roles.  Mormon wives are to be totally subservient to their husbands, to the point of demanding that they produce offspring even when they are so old that it is dangerous to their health.  According to their own text, “women have a different place.”

Fact 14 – I made a joke about how racist their religion is, but it is really racist.

The only reason they let black people become part of their patriarchy is because the government threatened to axe their tax-free status.  Not for any good reason.

 Fact 15 – Mormons are extremely anti-gay.

One of the biggest opponents of gay marriage are Mormon groups and the Mormon church.

Fact 16 – They have some creepy-ass, no bullshit, cultish rituals.

You know how I said they can convert the dead?  If you could ever get a camera inside and see it, their baptisms of dead people are being disturbing.  So are their “sealing” ceremonies.  For real, I have a buddy who has been sticking it out undercover within the Mormon church as a member to get this all filmed.  He figures they’d try and sue him to keep it all under wraps, but he commented that he has $20 and a car to his name, so fuck’em, they can have it.

Fact 17 – The Mormon church has resisted almost every single civil rights movement of the last 100 years.

When you look at the fact that their religion is unbelievably sexist, racist and homophobic, this really shouldn’t surprise anyone.  After all, if you give women, blacks and gays rights, who are they going to look down on?

But by far the creepiest fact of all –

Fact 18 – Joseph Smith was a rapist/pedophile/sycophant

Ever have a wild guess where the whole polygamy thing came from?  Utah is still famous for it.  It came from the fact that Smith couldn’t keep it in his pants, and wanted a way to justify it.  Plus, a lot of the girls he fucked were underage, and many of them were not really all that much consenting, so much as not having a choice.  These were girls who were pressured into sex, and then pressured into marriage to justify getting fucked without their consent, ie, raped.

This is the Mormon faith, and we are going to be looking to elect a Mormon to the head of this country.  In an ideal world, we would have totally secular people running this country, but that isn’t the case, so much.

Until next time, a quote,

“And oh yeah, you’re like ‘that’s some crazy shit.’  Okay, Jesus with the virgin birth and the dove and the snake who talked in the Garden, that’s cool.”  -Bill Maher, Religulous 

Peace out,

Maverick

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147 thoughts on “Mormonism – a fun religion started by a Rapist/Pedophile

  1. Religion is a sensitive topic, I am somehow shocked of the title, is this caption true? If it is , it would be terrible.

  2. Yep. It’s all true. I’m a disaffected member of the mormon church. I had to do a lot of study outside official church material (They tell you all that is of Satan and will destroy your testimony) Well, they’re absolutely spot on there. It does! Because mormon doctrine and history can’t stand up to the truth. Sorry, spell-checker, I don’t capitalize “mormon” anymore….

    • Thanks Rational Thinker. I too am an ex mormon. I escaped age 12 just in time for my adolescence. I have been an outsider to my family since then though we have a connection there is an underlying issue that keeps rearing it’s ugly head. I think the Mormon religion is a very narcissistic religion and is wrong in many ways and i’m glad I escaped.

      • you act like u escaped isis. u seriously are stupid. literally. u need to read the book or mormon. it never once sound like narcascim. u are a dumbfuck just like all these other people.

    • well u are an actual dumbfuck. you cant google religious topics. omfg how stupid can you get. we dont worship satan. god dam. you cant google facts and go off of that. you need to study the bible and the book of mormon. thank god someone like u left the church.

      • You are a fucking hypocrite that is indicative of the state of your cult.. all the cursing and then being glad someone leaves? You are supposed to “love everyone” and pray for the “spirit” to come back to fallen members..

        My guess is that you’re a functioning moron and so secure in your perceived spiritual superiority that you don’t see yourself and that your comments here are in and of themselves a “sin” based on the bullshit those 15 old racist, homophobic, greedy, power hungry white men who run your cult spew..

        God DAMN you are fucking dense…

      • excuse me mam, that is not what we believe. please stop using google to get ur intelligence, which explains y u gots none. 333 <3333

    • Yeah, and all of them have their own bullshit. Like believing a desert fairytale, for starters. They all have that in common.

      • You are really good at trying to make a point by saying that you have evidence and that religion is a bunch of crap. Well if you really are such a great researcher you should know how many bs evidence there is out there. “.com” website have never being reliable resources when it comes to research, I should know I have done several different kinds of research of which I have had to present to very intelligent people who would catch me in an instant if I was trying to bs them, why don’t you try mormon.org . Then you should try to make a point on Mormonism based on a reliable resource. I am personally an ex-Mormon an I can personally testify that everything your blog says about Mormonism it’s a bunch of crap, and if you want me to give you prove, well your just out of luck there is just so much prove out there for me to be taking the time to make a bibliography to make a believer out of you and anyone who agrees with you. Beside I already gave you a reliable resource and if that is not enough, contact the lds missionaries (I’m sure there will be more that glad to prove you wrong). After that if you are not entirely convince of how wrong you are about Mormon belief, then move on to the lds church an personally ask the members what their beliefs are. For the most part you will be getting answers which they will back up with common sense and the scriptures, including the bible. Although by your previous comments, it sounds like you are an atheist and a sucker for prove. Well you might not get solid prove from scientist but at least you will know how wrong you are about Mormons. And another thing, just because you are an atheist it does not give you the right to insult religion, and please do not give me that overrated statement (that this is a free country and you can say what you want), because if you came up to me insulting me about my religion in person, believe me that I would beat you non-believing ass till the point where you would be half dead you piece of shit. I hate dumb fucking atheist like yourself, who disrespect other peoples believes by trying to push their non-believes on religious people, just how I am sure you hate having people pushing religion on you. So do me a favor and next time you make a comment on religion be respectful about other people’s belief. And don’t reply because I do not have time to be arguing over the internet trying to act all tough when I have better things to do, the only reason why I took the time to comment was because I wanted to express my opinion on your stupid blog.

      • Oh, and by the way, tough guy, you talk a lot of talk, but I have yet to see a single link to these “sources” you so cavalierly have. Again, another mormon who won’t pony up evidence, yet says I’m wrong. Fucking genius…

      • So basically.. your only source of research on the mormon cult should be pro-mormon sources.. that’s the dumbest thing you sheep always spew and never question. You’re sad sad sad

    • Well there are only protestants, orthodox and Catholics as mainstream. And still we all admit all religions have their symbolisms. But dude these guys are completely insane and we have to admit that Joe was a con paedophile and all the believers are just men that find it convenient to brainwash other people in order to abuse women and children freely. BTW @the writer of this, I fully agree and lmao, great synopsis:)

    • Christians as a rule require your attendance tithing but as for Doing what church Elders tell you I’ve never seen it. Excommunicated , condemned to hell sure but as for everyday live the church never bothered any religious family I grew upwith

  3. All I’m gonna say is I’m Mormon and everything you said in here is downright wrong. Next time you try to write a blog about our beliefs why don’t you actually find out from a real mormon what they are. Otherwise you’re just embarassing yourself.

      • Well if you were to actually look into what we believe you would know that most of this is so far from the truth that I had to actually laugh at it when I read it…

      • Oh, unbelievable! You’re making this argument?! Okay, allow me then to retort. There is a group who has torn what a BS document that Bible is to pieces, and they are VERY thorough. I asked you to come back to me with something you could show me. You picked a poor example. And thankfully, a group of people helped do the heavy lifting for me so that I can rip every single point you will ever make about the validity or how these things back you up at all into ribbons.

        Here is the Skeptics Annotated Bible – http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/
        Here is the Skeptics Annotated Book of Mormon – http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/BOM/index.htm
        And just for good measure, here is a woman who was an ex-Mormon who lays out very clearly how ugly the Mormon church really is – http://youtu.be/1VyQSNwRaTE

        Thanks for playing.

      • I AM A FREAKING MORMON YOU IDIOT!!!!! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE BELEIVE!!!! IF YOU AREN’T MORMON, NEVER HAVE BEEN OR DON’T GET THE INFORMATION FROM SOMEONE WHO IS ACTIVE IN THE CHURCH THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO BE MAKING THESE DUMB POINTS!!!!!!

      • And now you go to all-caps. I think I’ve made my point. I get my information from people who were active in the church, and left it because of your fucked-up, sexist and homophobic religion. Nice to see how easily you lose it, while offering absolutely no evidence in your own defense. I think I’m done with you.

      • If they left the church they’re gonna do whatever they can to bash it and keep people from joining it. Why would you trust them??

      • Oh yeah, they want to stop people from joining. That’s a good argument. Most of these people have left religion altogether, and just like me, they want to expose it for the amoral systems that they (all religions) are. This isn’t even a good argument. Besides, if your church didn’t have all this ugliness on its hands (which is well-document – http://religionvirus.blogspot.com/2009/02/criminals-at-heart-of-mormonism-under.html ), then why does it need people like you who STILL has produced no evidence in your religion’s defense? The Book of Mormon is obviously bullshit, and Joseph Smith is obviously a fraud. But the complete inability of those who defend it to give me any evidence, instead drawing at arguments that are pathetic and desperate, is telling. For real, quit while you’re ahead. You are only looking worse and worse.

      • If you need something to put how stupid this whole religion is into perspective, South Park did the most amazing roast of it ever. When you hear it said out loud, this entire premise is so fucking stupid that it is almost amazing – http://youtu.be/2Gm6JYFdnD8

      • I have used a ton of stuff before that, but that was the cherry on top. You’ve been fun, but now I’m done with you. It is always fun to see the shitty defenders that the Mormons have, since you can’t mount anything even approaching a proper defense. Maybe you should take some time to learn about your bat-shit crazy faith. It might just do you some good.

      • I know everything about my faith and everything we believe in. Like I said, until you have learned from someone who I active in the church don’t embarass yourself making these dumb blogs

      • You have yet to refute anything. If you’re so knowledgeable, then hit me with your best shot. Until you do, I call bullshit. I’m not embarrassing myself because YOU haven’t proved what I say wrong. Just said that I am wrong by default. What a great argument. You keep proving my point, over and over and over again. You obviously don’t know shit.

      • I’m an ex Mormon and some
        Of those sections I can relate to. As a kid I remember hearing horse shit crazy things such as “we accept all religions, but unless u believe in our things, ur gonna burn in hell” and “gods name is k(something ) and he actually has a wife. So u know…

      • Kathie – You need to educate yourself on the world. Read some classic literature, study history, go to an art museum, talk to people of different cultures and races. There’s a lot out here that people have been lying to you about. Don’t be afraid. The life you deserve is within your grasp. The whole religion is absurd and harmful. When people try to cut off relations between you and your non-Mormon family, that is the definition of a cult. Wake up and think for yourself.

    • I laughed so hard at this… Yet another Mormon who can’t say shit to defend themselves and instead try and stifle them. This is what the church does when they raise you… When you begin to doubt things they can’t justify they just tell you to shut up.

      Source: Raised as a Mormon for 14 years.

  4. Soo… everything you said is wrong. If you really study what these people believe you would be surprised. I don’t agree with all they believe but at least I know what that is. They sure are a lot nicer of people then most.

    • And your proof is…? For real, saying that I’m wrong is all well and good, but if you don’t have proof, then you’re just saying stuff. Evidence, it’s the way of people who don’t need faith. And it’s “than most,” not “then most.” Just saying…

  5. I’m guessing “MORMON.ORG” is not a link you fucking moron. How stupid can you be to not be able to manual type a link in the address bar?

    • Oh, you’re so cute. And a site that was made by a Mormon for Mormons isn’t bias at all. Yeah, you can bash all my links if you want, but the fact is that you have just proved my point. Thanks for playing.

      • Bias or not, it will speak the truth about the beliefs and the teachings of the lds church, and that way people who read your retarded blog (if they are smart enough) they will be able to find out the truth about Mormonism and at the same time they will know how ignorant you really are. It really is pretty mediocre how you keep trying to bash on my comments, it just comes to show how ignorant and uninformed you really are. I guess the only advice i could give you is to quit making yourself look so idiotic;however; i also know that “He who stand for nothing will fall for anything” (Alexander Hamilton). For that reason I know you will not stop, but i does not matter to me because now people may read my comments and find out for themselves the truth, which is what i wanted since the beginning. Thanks for making blog which showed the common misinterpretations of the lds church, I guess one must be a genius (like your self) to fall for the common misconceptions of a subject. Fucking genius, lol

      • That’s awesome. You openly admit that your source is completely bias, but then say that it’s trustworthy. You are a special kind of stupid. But then, you believe that a man looked at two magic plates and heard that Jesus (sky-wizard’s kid, whose also him) talked to the native Americans, and that the Garden of Eden was in America. So yeah, I’m not surprised.

  6. I really appreciate how you prove my point by always trying shift my statement to the point where it applies to what you want people to believe, got to love it. Also the fact that you even get to make fun of Jesus saying that he is the same person, when if in reality you knew any of the basic beliefs of Christianity, you would have know about the trinity; Lord The Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. Feel free to write them down, that way you won’t seem as ignorant in you next lame blog. Quick tip for your next blog; actually do some research lol. At first, when i first look at you blog it really enraged me, but now its just fun wait to see what you have to say next. In reality I’m not even mad anymore because i know that idiots like yourself one would never get rid of them, so the best next thing to do is fuck with their head to see how retarded they really are. You know the fact that i reply to your comments is a real stress reliever,it really gives me a break from my college work. Therefore, i invite you to keep it coming, until i get bored.

      • lol another dumbass that uses trolling, GOT TO LOVE IT. Damn get a real word and also some common sense. If you post a blog that talks shit about someone else your are definitely getting some negative feed back, but i guess people like you will never understand. Also if you really think about it your the one who is disrespecting me (sorry “trolling on me”, didn’t mean to get to advance for you there) since your bashing on my believes.

      • I wish I had some popcorn. The amount of butt-hurt that you’re getting about me bashing your idiotic beliefs is just awesome. But please, keep defending it. This is getting funny. 🙂

  7. Yeah this fun an all, but you say that i have some idiotic beliefs, right? Well since I know you are a sucker for prove; therefore, i would expect for you to be able to live up for your demands. Now I really want to see a REAL AND RELIABLE source that can prove that Joseph Smith was a rapist and that my beliefs are exactly how you describe them in your blog. If you can do that for me I will take back everything i have said, BUT it has to be legit prove.

    • Ah, gee, and here I was going to rise to your challenge. But since you want “prove” for things, then I can’t help you. Now, if proof is what you’re looking for…nah. I mean, why would I bother? Your email is literally named after me. You have done all this to come at me. You are continuing to comment despite my repeated statements that I am not going to play your game. I gain nothing by arguing with you. So now, I am just seeing where this goes. By the way, I am flattered that you named your email after me. Maybe you can name one of your many spawn after me too. 🙂

      • Come on man, If your blog is really legit then give me some prove. I swear that if you give me at least one RELIABLE source i will post a comment say that Im sorry and that i was wrong.

  8. No, both you and i know that those are not reliable sources. If they were, you really think i would put my neck out there?

      • Okay, I get its fun but where is the prove I’m asking from you. Don’t tell me you can live up to your demands.

      • Do you have a phobia about using the word “proof?” I’m not going to play your game, man. Over and over and over again you are trying, but I’m not playing. I don’t play games with trolls. And before you say that you’re not, I counter with the fact that you named your email address after me. Yeah, thanks for playing.

  9. lol I have a phobia with the word “PROOF”, What about you? With Kathie, Dave and even with me , didn’t you ask for prove. I gave you a legit source (mormon.org) that you try to bash by saying it was bias and all, but in reality it really talk about our real beliefs. Now i feel the right to ask the same favor in return and all you keep doing is saying “thanks for playing” and “your a troll”. Well i told you I will give you an apology if you give me a reliable source. Also please stop saying that that the ones that you have already posted are good enough because I if you even have at least a little education you would know that does are not RELIABLE.

    • Oh my god, how stupid are you?! I mean using the word proof instead of prove! This is amazing! Truly amazing! You are too much fun! I haven’t gotten a laugh like this in a while. You are such a broken record that I am glad we have had this conversation. This has been an enjoyable experience.

      • And I’m glad that you have friends who are just as stupid with you. I’m sure you make a lovely Mormon think tank.

      • yeah I know it was a small typo, whatever. It happens. Also i know that dumb fucks like you will always try to look for small errors like that to shield themselves behind them. But what really is stupid, is how you keep trying to avoid my question. I mean NOW, how stupid to you have to be to not be able to answer a simple question. I am really trying to have a normal conversation, but it seem that I have proven my point that you are full of shit.

      • A small typo that you used over and over and over again. Yeah, I buy that. How many times must I tell you – I’m not playing. Keep harping at it all you like. This is all for the lulz, man. And you and your Mormon think tank provide them in spades.

  10. By the way Im making a print out of your retard blog so I can show to my “Mormon” friends , fucking ignorant pieces of shit thinking that just because Im Mormon that automatically makes all my friends Mormon. lol you fucking dumb ass.

    • And now you go the cheapest route of all – thinking that if you insult me long enough, I’ll play. Well, I don’t feed the trolls, and you have been fun. So please, go back to your non-Mormon think-tank. I hope they are more fun to be around.

    • Are you really as uneducated as your writing indicates, or are you just having fun acting like a developmentally delayed dipstick

  11. But don’t feel special your not the only piece of shit I’ve proven wrong. So I guess this is piece out man, and about the email don’t worry about I’m never going to use it again. I just made it special for you, to show you how much i care. If you wanna reply go ahead but I’m done wasting my time with you.

    • You created an entirely new email for me? I’m touched! Make sure to name one of your many spawn after me too. 🙂

  12. Wow…he really made his point. I personally am an atheist who was looking to get a good laugh but damn that kid really made you look stupid. I want to ask you for one favor; please stop making us (atheist) look like dickheads who are so ridiculously ignorant. PLEASE…from an atheist to another.

    • He made me look stupid because I wouldn’t rise to his trolling? No, I have lost nothing. My sources work, and his were biased. Oh, and by the way, if you don’t like what I have to say, here’s this magic thing that you can do – don’t read it! I’m amazed that you and him weren’t smart enough to figure that out.

      • Look man, do not get all but hurt. I’m just trying to help here, and about your blog i did in fact read it. I also took a look at your sources. That is why i say that he made you look stupid because you did not have any reliable resources. Also the fact that you were up to playing his game and ridiculing him until he asked you for evidence, then you completely backed off by saying that he was a troll. Yeah that is where you lost me and he ended up proving his point.

      • I ridiculed him because it was fun. I’m not hurt. I don’t care if you are trying to help. And riddle me this – how is testimony from somebody who was born and raised in the church and left bad? Really, I am curious on this. Is talking to a Christian who left the church also a bad source? The whole point of this was that I didn’t play his game. I decided instead to just continually mock him to see how long it would take him to leave. That’s what I do to butt-hurt Mormons, Christians, or atheists. I hate on all groups. Comes with hating humanity.

      • And, as always, nobody put a gun to you or his head and asked him to read it. For real, if you don’t like what I have to say, piss off. I’m not making money from this anyway, so less viewers doesn’t hurt me.

  13. I wasn’t talking about him living the church or not, beside if he did that doesn’t make his statements any less valuable, specially when they were reliable. Now I’m not saying that his believes are true, but he did make his point about you trying to stain them. I really feel sorry for you an your pathetic life, but honestly i hope that someday you may find something that will bring joy to your life, if not you will just live a miserable life.

    • And last thing before i got, again I’m a non-believer, but yeah i really didn’t think you ridiculed him.You may have though that but the reality is that he ridiculed you.

      • This is clearly the same person as “Joe”.
        Man, those religious nuts are like rabid dogs with a bone. Don’t they have some children they could be brainwashing or something? That conversation went on for months!
        Not sure why you bothered replying to that weirdo, but otherwise enjoyed your blog!

      • @ Joeon:
        Typical mormon BS out of you. Your first post states you’re an ex-mormon, then you pathetically proceed to try and defend mormonisim then say you are mormon. Why don’t you do some honest research about your goofy cult like I did back in the day. I grew up in SLC as a mormon until my questions about the racisim, bigotry, and sexist beliefs held so dearly by many of the church leaders (Boyd K. Packer especially) led me to honestly question what they were spewing out. I researched official LDS sources (“history of the church”….read all 10 or so volumes) written by LDS prophets, leaders, and historians and alot of what was posted here is in there. You know who John Taylor is right? 3rd LDS president and prophet. He says old Joe Smith was shot twice in the face and he should know as he was right there in the Carthage jail with Smith when the mob attacked. Mormon god living on Kolob 100% accurate -Joe Smith. God literally doing Mary to make Jesus 100% accurate -Brigham Young (2nd LDS prophet). Curse of black skin 100% accurate -Brigham Young. Joe Smith doing several young girls in the name of his cult 100% accurate -Joe and Emma Smith (1st wife). Joe Smith using magic to find buried treasure (which he never found) and charging saps a fee for his services (of which he was busted for fraud) 100% accurate -Joe Smith. I could go on and on with proof of strange LDS facts by using official LDS history books, but I doubt you’d know anything about the true history “Joeon”, because I’m pretty sure you haven’t read a single word from “the history of the church”.

  14. This was the best! I laughed and laughed. I love being an atheist. I have nothing to proof. Piece out.

  15. Just read your post and I’m thankful for the info, I didn’t know to much about the Mormons about all I did know was it was a retarded Cult/religion. The problem I have is that my wife is being talked into going to a Mormon church here in England by her manager at work who is also a Mormon Priest or should I say Mormon Bullshit merchant. She really wants to go and I have told her not to, but she keeps asking and she says she won’t get roped in, I said if she goes and does get roped in I’m out the door. I have heard stories of people being held against their will etc, and she seems to defend this manager when I said I was going to get him sacked for trying to push his religion on to others (abusing his position), she begged me not to and said she wouldn’t go to the church, now she is talking about going again! How worried should I be?

  16. I’m a disaffected Mormon. All that stuff is true, although stated in a blunt way. Mormons do NOT know their own doctrines! There’s an Orwellian revisionism, a hiding or “retiring” of old history and doctrine that now offends modern sensibilities. They never deny it or apologize for it, they just stop talking about it. That’s why so many Mormons don’t know their own doctrines.

  17. I have one thing to say as a lifetime Mormon… This is all completely off and you all should be ashamed to be saying this stuff. We are all aloud to believe what we want.
    try: lds.org or mormon.org
    controll yourselves people.

  18. mason’s are pretty freakin odd, mormonism came from masonry, there’s too much in common and noticeable offshoot, both retarded in rites and ritual, mormonism is outright moronic. They even have their angle/angel moroni, lucifer and jesus are brothers. Pentacostalism is right fucked, they’re retarded, fallah, lah,lah, lah, bah, lah, bbah, lah, lah,… oh! FFS, it’s unbelieveable to see these retards in their cult speaking in tongues, their washing of feet, and confessions to each other, and holy spirit retard chants. Catholicism, well everyone knows it’s fucking retarded, a created organised religion through multiple conferences/creeds/councils with all the head retards of the cults of the times. judaism was nearly wiped right out, genocidal, so whatever texts of torah or others associated are barely anything to be or to hold in regard, though the dead sea scrolls do show some decent proof in comparison. anything abrahamic, stems from abrahm/brahma of east of persia and prior mesopotamia times, in sandskrit there’s some old texts, older than most out there. So all in all it’s fair to say that all religions are pretty well equal in fucking retarded. All should be taxed, not exempt or privileged/privileges, and nobody should be legally allowed to give money to any of them, they all should starve out, and fade into extinction.

  19. Awesome article, you hit the nail so hard on the head that you woke the RHB (Religious Hate Beast). Nothing says you’re right like butt hurt zealots trolling your page. Well done sir.

  20. When mormon missionaries called at my home their church still did not allow African American members to hold the priesthood. Since all the newspapers and TV news were full of the Civil Rights struggle in the mid-sixties, I wondered where the LDS church was on equality and civil rights. They were nowhere, and in fact the church authorities went so far as to claim that Martin Luther King was a communist tool of the Russians. The racism of the mormons was enough for me, nevertheless, all members of my family, except myself and a younger brother, joined this cult. Over the many decades I have remained close with my family, and learned a lot about the cult, none of it I would say is good, or at least none of it I would want for myself, and to some extent I felt guilt about not putting up more of a fight against my family’s joining, but also some lingering sense early on that my family could not all be wrong. But despite my reading extensively on this cult, I can’t win any arguments with people who refuse to learn, and who deny their own history.
    The mormons remain racist, sexist and homophobic, and their reaction to the election of President Obama was the final nail in the coffin of my tolerance for these people. If anyone questions your position of Joseph Smith, pedophile and fraud, have them read Fawn Brodie’s book, No Man Knows My History.
    It is also well documented that highly placed members of the mormon cult were instrumental in the founding of the John Birch Society, and that many mormons today retain an affinity for the ideas of the JBS, and of Senator Joe McCarthy, and now of course to the bat-shit crazy inheritors of these paranoid political thoughts, the Tea Party, and Glenn Beck.

  21. I was told “They laugh at people who come after them for their religious beliefs”. You either don’t know the half of it, or you’re afraid to put it on the blog. There’s SO MUCH more that could be said.

  22. hit the nail on the head!!!! so funny your logical comments about how Mormons can’t defend their faith. I am married to one who is “liberal”. I am not Mormon but raised Catholic. Do not practise anymore. My husband’s kids say I have no soul because I don’t believe in God, say I am going to hell for drinking wine and coffee. Yet they drink hot chocolate. BTW he drinks wine, beer and coffee. It’s a laugh a minute with how they change based on how the wind blows.

  23. I agree with this all the way, the Mormons are fucking crazy. Very well written, sources are good. Nice job, sir.

  24. I am an atheist who was once a mormon. I have had many long discussions with my mormon brother. We have discussed and argued our beliefs for many years. Every facet of mormonism has been discussed. Neither of us has come anywhere near changing the belief of the other. The bottom line is regardless of the facts each of us believes what we want to believe.

  25. I am a Christian we’ll Catholic to be exact. However Most Catholics today do not believe Adam and Eve were real and the Earth was created in eight days. It was a story made to show the path that temptation can lead you to. That is merely all. Just like everything in the Bible. It is all examples in how to live a good life and make it easier on yourself by following the morals of story’s and passages of historical events.

    • So, the stuff about God commanding his armies to kill and take the women of conquered nations as sex slaves. I’m dying to know what message that sends.

  26. I do believe “Joe”… is probably a pre-teen that went a little over his alotted time on mommies compooper. Congratulations you’ve proofed a child wrong XD. This blog on mormons is pretty spot on though.

  27. all religions are based on faith. I have mine and will not be sidetracked. Mormons on the other hand are totally out of their minds. I (as a conservative republican) would vote for Hillary Clinton before mitt Romney.. anyone who could follow and believe such a crock of shit and all the peripherals that go with it should ABSOLUTELY NEVER be trusted with their finger on the button—so to speak.
    how could so many people be lead down an obviously WRONG path. oh yeah, I forgot…just like the crazy ass muslims and seventh day assholes and of course Jehovah’s witnesses and last but not least the always entertaining but just as wrong scientologists!!!! if it wasn’t so funny it would be the saddest thing I ever heard. I still find it hard to believe that there are enough people that believe this shit (especially the NEW ones) scientology etc. to keep it going. at least the towel head muslims have centuries of history to base their misguided beliefs on.
    the NEW age dumbasses are so obviously off the mark that when the Hollywood movie stars finally sober up they bail on them like rats off the titanic.
    anyway—good luck to ya’ll—based on my religion I ‘may’ be there to see you but, I’m fairly certain ya’ll are HELLBOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. MORMONISM is very well explained on this article. I was a mórmon for 19 Years , and took me all this time to see What you have wrote só clear

    • Evidence? For Christianity? Outside of the bible, do tell. You can’t cite the Bible. It’s been shown to be a contradictory mess that has nothing scientific in it.

      • Well one, no its hasn’t, you’re welcome to bring out a contradiction and I can help you resolve it (I have tons saved on my flash drive, always fun to see a new one). As for science, that’s not true either, look at the decay rate of the earth’s magnetic field. The Bible is the most reliable collection of ancient sources we have. But if you want something outside the Bible, I would recommend this:
        Physical evidence of the Resurrection
        http://www.itbn.org/index/detail/lib/Networks/sublib/TBN/ec/VqcXByMzombYzTjXF9ZBeNMYfVAIJXEd

      • I don’t make a positive claim about the existence of God and his creating the universe. Why would I argue with your points if I can’t disprove that negative? My life is short enough already to get into that intellectual circle-jerk.

  29. Lucien,

    Thank you for taking the time to write this Blog. My favorite part was when that lady said not ALL of the things you said are true. The fact that ANY of it could be true, and she was still trying to defend it….well that is just too funny.

    I was already up to speed on a lot of the things you wrote about, but it’s still fun to read stuff like this. The way you put it all together was priceless man. Good luck to you, wish you well.

    • Did anyone else read Gordon Duff’s comments on his website where he believes the mormons have actually gotten control of the worldwide drug trade. It’s been up for a while and I haven’t heard of anyone threatening to sue him, Although I do pray the “danites” don’t whack him.

  30. Very entertaining blog and fairly accurate. My second oldest joined the cult and her life went to hell. She married a mormon who is so fucked in the brain I just shake my head. She is starting to see that it isn’t all it claims to be. I thoroughly researched mormonism using their accepted literature, and quickly came to the conclusion that it is an organization run by very wealthy con artists fleecing ignorant sheep.

  31. Thank you thank you thank you for making this post! You basically wrote my brains down. Your name is Lucien, my name is Lucy. Are you the male version of me haha?! Absolutely agree!

    • That depends. Are you a snarky, pessimistic-in-the-extreme, cynical smartass with nothing to lose? If so, then perhaps. 😛

  32. Just so all of you mormons on here that are saying “what you posted isn’t true” know, I am dating an ex mormon and shes told me everything on here is true. There’s even hidden camera footage of your ceremonies and secret handshakes. She told me all about her garments (magic underwear) that she got after being forced to marry her boyfriend of 2 months. And what really bugs me about what you all are saying is that just saying “its not true, just look at our website!” doesn’t prove shit. Here, let me go make a flying spaghetti monster website then post a link and SEE! ITS TRUE! its on a REAL WEBSITE!

  33. Mormonism is really bat shit and very dangerous brainwashing children into the cult. Until reason prevails, if it ever does, members are controlled by Fideism, an epistemological theory which maintains that faith is independent of reason, or that reason and faith are hostile to each other and faith is superior at arriving at particular truths. Their fideism is their “testimony” that has them standing on their feet saying they “know” this is true or that is true, when they just hope to fuck it’s true or there’s some good coffee, or beer, or masterbating their junk they’re missing out on. Those who admonish the sin have a repressed desire to try it. Ooops, now we’re into thought crime, more sin…..

    In essence, Jesus is most likely a myth and such a magical godman never existed, which kicks the foundation out of the whole bullshit fairy tale – Joe Smith never had a vision(s) of anything as there is no Jesus to come flying down from Kolob…… (The gospels were written by unknown authors and are at best, oral tradition far after the fact – here say) Rid yourself…..

    • Current member here. Every point is true (minus the profanities) and facts that could be found in a study of The History of The Church. A few interpretations are exaggerated or skewed but for the most part frighteningly true. These ideas are integrated from the age of 3 (age when our kids become Sunbeams and are taught doctrine formally). My husband and I have been weighing the pros and cons of walking away for some time.

  34. I was married to a Mormon woman for 15 years, and she turned our marriage into a living hell. I was literally lucky to get out of that marriage alive. After financially supporting her 4 ADULT lazy Mormon children (ages 28-32) and her tithing 10% to her Mormon cult, we were broke. I could NOT stop her from giving all of our money away to her church, her mother and her kids. She was the biggest liar I have ever met in my life, and all Mormons are the same – liars.

    • I’m not a Mormon, never been, but I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness. While the cult is different, they share the same tactics to retain people in their ranks. Mormons, take a good hard look at your religion. Defending it because you fear judgement and want to feel special is the dumbest thing you could do to yourself. People shut up their own inner doubts because they have so much to lose. It is true, you will lose your family and friends when you leave, but you will gain mental clarity. It’s amazing to see your cult from the outside again. It took me years and I’m glad I left when I was young enough to enjoy life -the only life I have- away from those bloodsuckers. What I hated most was the sense of superiority. We’re better than everyone because we know the truth. Ah! So dumb. Newsflash: not a single soul on this earth knows “the truth”. But oh boy, very few admit to this piece of wisdom, because then they wouldn’t be so ” special”, would they?

  35. Look, the gospels are not written by Mathew, Mark, Luke, or John, but by anonymous Greek authors decades after they say this Jesus guy existed. Gospels all third person narratives by who knows how many authors – all hearsay. And.. they differ vastly. Saul of Tarsus, AKA Paul the Apostle only claims to have seen Jesus only in a dream. Really!!
    Many contemporary historians and authors of the purported time Jesus was to have lived according the time placement of gospels, do not mention any thing about such a miracle performing person – nothing, silence. In the year 93 a paragraph in Jewish historian Josephus’ history of the Jews mentioned a Jesus, but it’s inclusion is controversial, some think an interpolation. This Jesus “himself” wrote nothing.
    The Jesus story follows other similar myths extant for centuries, god man humanized in the Jesus myth. The Jesus story is most likely a myth, such a man did not exist. The con man Joseph Smith lied, he did not chit chat with a mythical puff of smoke, thus Mormonism is bullshit. Simple.

  36. OH MY GOSH!!!! OH MY FREAKING GOSH. YOU ARE THE MOST STUPID PERSON IVE EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!! AND IM 13 YOU STUPID ASS!!! OMFG!!! FIRST OF ALLLLLLL YOU COULDNT POSSIBLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MORMONISM BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A MORMOM…OBVIOUSLY. YOU CANT GET FACTS ABOUT MORMONISM OFF OF GOOGLE BECAUSE THATS PLAIN STUPID. YOU HAVE TO BE A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH, ATTEND CHURCH FOR MORE THAN MY FUCKING LIFETIME AND FUCKING LEARN AND WORSHIP AT CHURCH YOU DUMB FUCK. YOU NEED TO READ THE BIBLE AND THE BOOK OF MORMON. YOU STUPID ASS. YOU ARE SOME FUCKED UP PEOPLE TO BE SAYING THAT SHIT. NONE OF THE FACTS ON THIS FUCKED UP PAGE ARE EVEN CLOSE TO TRUE. YOU STUPID ASS. GOD DAM YOU NEED HELP. SERIOUSLY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP GOING OFF ABOUT MORMONISM AND START GOING TO CHURCH YOURSELF. THESE ARE SOME OF THE MOST IDIOTIC AND STUPID FACTS IVE HEARD ABOUT MORMONISM. OMFG WAIT TILL U GET INTO HEAVEN…OH WAIT….HELL AND ASK FUCKIN LUCIFER HOW HE FUCKED UP AND SEND AN EMAIL TO GOD AND ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU FOR BEING A HOLY FUCKING DUMBASS FOR NOT RESPECTING THE FAITH AND BEING SUCH A FUCKING DUMB FUCK!! WE DONT BELIEVE JESUS IS A GOD DAM MONSTER. HOLY SHIT BITCH. DO YOU WORSHIP SATAN. DID U BUY A BOOK OF “HOW TO SOUND STUPID ABOUT MORMONISM” CUZ IT SEEMS LIKE U DID. GET A LIFE YOU DUMBFUCK!!! GOD BLESS YOU! MY EMAIL IS @cearl0001@mymail.lausd.net IF YOU WANT TO LEARN SOME REAL FACTS!!! BYE STUPID ASS!

    • Your caps lock is stuck genius, and you didn’t need to state your age as it shows, You should read your history of the church for some real revelations on how messed up your cult is. That’s right from the mormon’s mouth.

      • i did capslock on purpose genius. ofcourse my age is going to show, am i supposed to act like a 20 year old when im 13. hilarious. you played yourself. as a matter of fact i have stupid ass. i know more than youll ever know about my church becuase you get your facts from dumbasses and off of google. maybe YOU should look into its history off of mormon.org, now get a life you got rekt by a 13 year old. and its not from the mormon mouth, a real mormon would never mention or say things like that. i obviously have more common sense that a 60 – year old looking dumbass who has nothing better to do than talk shit about mormonism

  37. You are absolutely correct in that I “get your facts from dumbasses” although they are generally referred to as the LDS authorities, the hierarchy of the LDS cult. Try reading “history of the church” if you can comprehend the bigger words. Anyone with an IQ higher than their shoe size will see where it documents the numerous contradictions and “nasty” doctrine that the LDS have subscribed to over the years.

    • you are so hilarious, like i said, u have to BE IN THE FUCKING CHURCH FOR FUCKING YEARS TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THE GOSPELS AND PRINCIPLESSSSS,

      • Define years little girl. If you got baptized at 8, as is cult tradition, then you have been a card carrying moron for 5 whole years. Incidentally, you need a new keyboard and possibly English lessons.

  38. Far out, was reading the Koran and thought that was messed up. Lots of similar traits though except for the be-heading thing they like.
    Really, can you find one religion that’s got any logically valid reason to exist in the 21 century? What baffles me the most is some really intelligent people can believe In such fucking shit and find a way to justify it, that’s the weirdest part. I only looked at Mormonism cause two young nice girls knocked on my daw and wanted me to accept Jesus. I accept him the rest can fuck off!
    Ps this Josep Smith guy same as Muhammad, they both fuck children, Mohammed married Aisha a 6yr old girl, but he waited apparently till she was 9yr to fuck her. I think he didn’t wait lol.

  39. Along with the Taliban like minded apostles covert gov is their common goal world war three ,but some of us don’t just push buttons we push religion Too black hand evil empire sex insanity greed poisons death torture skull n bones stew from Hod .Just so over the top its satanic ways enthrall crazies to be charged with inhuman crimes all recorded for easy convictions as purpose and intent cut lawyers out of the legal processes yet guaranteeing free choice ,due process ,Unfathomable inteligence ,bang Next !! Super computer justice ! Wanna appeal ? Next reincarnation maybe lol

  40. Dude..you hit the nail right on the ass. I was a Short term Mormon… Luckily. I am a happy go lucky person who found herself in the web of this church. From day one.. I was freaking out at their lack of reference for the Bible.. And their euphoric love of the BOM. they are also very cold if you slightly disagree or say something in Good Grief Society. Which I renamed. Makes me wonder about this clique. So uptight and ugly. Truly ugly in their hearts.. Thinking they are Gods. That God better adhere to their standards. Blasphemy!

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